我的就是你的，你的也是我的？
不，
我的還是我的，你的還是你的。
恩愛夫妻明算賬？
作者：Caroline Kitchener
譯者：王津雨 & 邵海靈
校對：徐嘉茵
策劃：鄒世昌
It doesn’t signal a lack of trust—to some, it’s a way for spouses to show they trust each other more.
賬戶分開并不代表缺乏信任——對一些夫婦來說，這反而表明他們更加信任彼此了。
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A joint bank account has, traditionally, been a sign of commitment. As newlyweds start their lives together, it is perhaps the clearest way for them to say, to each other and to the world, “What’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine.”
傳統(tǒng)觀念中，開立聯(lián)合銀行賬戶已成為締結(jié)承諾的一個標志。當新婚夫婦開始共同生活時，這樣做也許是最為清晰的方式，能讓他們向彼此乃至全世界表態(tài)：“我的就是你的，你的也是我的?！?/span>
But these days, some young couples are skeptical. “There has been a generational change,” said Joanna Pepin, a doctoral candidate at the University of Maryland who studies the organization of money in romantic relationships. “The research we have shows that, cross-culturally, more people are keeping money separate.” Indeed, a Bank of America study published earlier this year seemed to suggest that Millennial married and cohabitating couples were more likely to hold separate accounts than previous generations were.
但如今，一些年輕夫婦對這一做法提出了質(zhì)疑。馬里蘭大學的博士研究生喬安娜·佩平在研究戀愛關(guān)系中的金錢配置時指出：“這一代人的觀念已經(jīng)不同了。我們現(xiàn)有的研究結(jié)果顯示，無論在哪種文化中，都有越來越多的夫妻把賬分開，各管各的錢?！钡拇_，今年早些時候美國銀行公布的一項研究結(jié)果似乎表明，與過去幾代人相比，千禧一代已婚和同居的夫婦更有可能把各自的銀行賬戶分開管理。
Pepin says this trend is particularly pronounced among low-income couples, who are likelier to value access to their own earnings over the show of commitment and loyalty that comes with the decision to merge finances, a quality often prioritized by higher-earners.
佩平提到，這一趨勢在低收入夫婦中尤為明顯。在眾人面前展示承諾與忠誠，通常也伴隨著財務合并的決定，高收入人群往往把這種忠貞的品質(zhì)放在優(yōu)先的地位，但與此相比，低收入夫婦更看重對自己收入的支配權(quán)。
Some of this has to do with Millennial marriage trends more generally. Compared to previous generations, Millennials get married later in life, and thus significantly more of them live together before marriage. Because cohabiting couples are far more likely than married couples to keep finances separate, a certain inertia develops. “Once you’ve established your relationship norms,” Pepin asked, “why would you change them?”
普遍來講，部分原因與千禧一代的結(jié)婚趨勢有關(guān)。他們比過去幾代人更加晚婚，因此婚前同居的夫婦數(shù)量有顯著增加。由于同居夫婦保持財務獨立的可能性要遠大于已婚夫婦，這就形成了一種必然的慣性。正如佩平提出的：“一旦你們的相處模式已經(jīng)成型了，為什么還要改變它們呢？”
When today’s young adults do decide to get married, many of them are further along in their careers, with a better sense of who they are and what they contribute to their workplace. One 29-year-old I talked to, a medical resident in San Francisco, told me that for those who believe one’s bank account offers a clear reflection of a person’s work ethic or success, it can be hard to cede control. “It’s about wanting to maintain one’s sense of identity, individuality, and autonomy,” said Fenaba Addo, an assistant professor of consumer science at the University of Wisconsin–Madison.
當今的年輕人在做出結(jié)婚的決定時，許多人已經(jīng)在事業(yè)上有了更大的進展，也能更清楚自己是誰、能在職場上扮演怎樣的角色。我曾與舊金山一名29歲住院醫(yī)生交談過，他告訴我，如果有人認為自己的銀行賬戶能清楚地反映出其事業(yè)是否成功，那讓他們放棄對賬戶的控制權(quán)是很困難的。Fenaba Addo是威斯康星大學麥迪遜分校的一名助理教授，研究消費者科學，他說：“這事關(guān)他們的身份認同、個體性和自主權(quán)?！?/span>
When I asked several married Millennial couples why they decided to keep their finances fully or partially separate, one reason came up more than any other: A joint bank account seemed to blur each individual’s financial contributions at a time when women are earning more than they used to. “If we just had a joint account, it would bring an uneasy feeling—a sense of inequality,” said Zack Pasillas, a 26-year-old office worker from Orange County, California. Zack’s wife, Karina, works in customer service at the local water company. She knows that, in the future, she’ll likely make less money than Zack, but that makes her even more eager to keep their finances separate. “When buying him gifts, when picking up the tab at dinner, I like knowing that I am also contributing to this relationship,” she said. “It’s my work—it’s my money.” Another Millennial I talked to worried that, if he and his wife merged bank accounts, their relationship might begin to conform to antiquated gender roles, with the man in charge of all the finances. The concept of a joint account, to him, felt dated.
我問了一些千禧一代的已婚夫婦，為什么他們決定保持財務完全或部分獨立，如下一個原因在所有回答中脫穎而出：現(xiàn)在女性掙得比以前更多，如果合并賬戶，好像就模糊了雙方對家庭財務的貢獻。來自加州奧蘭治縣的一名26歲白領扎克·帕西拉斯提到：“如果我們只有一個聯(lián)合賬戶，就會讓人有種不太舒服的感覺——一種不太平等的感覺?！痹说钠拮涌漳仍诋?shù)氐淖詠硭緩氖驴头ぷ鳎?，將來她掙的錢可能會比扎克少，但這反而讓她更加渴望保持各自的財務獨立。她說：“每次給他買禮物或是晚飯以后買單時，我都知道我也在為這份關(guān)系付出自己的努力。我喜歡這樣的感覺。這是我的責任——而且這花的是我自己的錢?！痹c我交談過的另一位千禧一代丈夫則表示，他擔心如果與妻子合并銀行賬戶，可能會導致他們在夫妻關(guān)系中開始扮演起傳統(tǒng)陳舊的性別角色，賬務都由男方管。他感覺聯(lián)合賬戶這一概念已經(jīng)過時了。
Through the mid-19th century, the vast majority of married women relied completely on their husband’s salary. Until the Equal Credit Opportunity Act passed in 1974, it was difficult for many women to establish their own line of credit—they had no choice but to depend on joint accounts. Now that the American workforce is 47 percent female, there is a sense that perhaps women shouldn’t so readily put their money in a place where it doesn’t fully belong to them. In a forthcoming study, Pepin asked respondents to select an “income allocation strategy” for a variety of hypothetical couples. When the woman was the primary breadwinner, respondents suggested that she withhold more income than the man in situations when he was the higher-earning partner.
在十九世紀中期，絕大多數(shù)已婚女性都完全依賴丈夫的收入來生活。在1974年的信貸機會均等法案出臺前，許多女性想要提高自己的信貸能力都是非常困難的——她們沒有選擇，只能依賴聯(lián)合賬戶。而當前美國的勞動人口中已有47%為女性，所以她們不再輕易把錢放到不完全屬于她們自己的賬戶里，也是情理之中的一件事。在一項即將發(fā)表的研究中，佩平先假定了許多各種各樣的夫妻組合，然后讓受訪者為這些夫妻選擇一個“收入分配策略”。當女方為家里提供更多收入時，受訪者就會建議由她掌管更多的收入，而當男方的收入更高時，受訪者卻不會選擇讓男方管理那么多的錢。
Similarly, many women getting married for the first time nowadays are keenly aware of how easily wives can lose control of their own finances, said Maggie Germano, a women’s financial coach based in Washington, D.C. Many of Germano’s clients grew up in homes where their parents shared a joint account, which meant that their fathers handled all the money.
“同樣，如今很多初次踏入婚姻殿堂的女性都非常敏銳地意識到，妻子是多么容易失去對家庭財政的掌控權(quán)?！痹谌A盛頓為女性提供財務指導的麥琪·格曼諾如是說道。她的很多客戶都在父母共用一個賬戶的家庭里長大，也就是說，家庭財政都是由父親掌控的。
“In a lot of those cases, the mother of my client ended up in a precarious financial situation because she had no say over what was happening with her finances,” Germano said. “My clients want to make sure they never end up in a situation where they don’t know what is going on.” That perspective, she says, leads many of her married Millennial clients to opt for separate bank accounts. Pepin, when I talked to her about this, added, “Women may have access to money when you pool total household income, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to control.”
“在很多這樣的案例中，客戶母親的財務狀況都會陷入十分艱難的境地，因為她在自己的財務事宜上沒有發(fā)言權(quán)，”格曼諾說，“我的客戶想要確保她們永遠不要陷入一個對自己的財務狀況一無所知的境地。”她認為，這種觀點驅(qū)使許多已婚的千禧一代女客戶選擇獨立的銀行賬戶。我跟佩平談到這件事情時，她補充說：“把所有的家庭收入放在一起時，女性或許也能支取賬戶里的錢，但這并不等于她就擁有控制權(quán)?！?/span>
Some worry that this trend of keeping money separate doesn’t bode well for Millennials’ relationships. According to a 2006 study published in the journal Gender & Society, couples who merge their finances are more likely to stay together than couples who don’t. “When couples maintain their accounts separately, it’s indicative of a certain lack of trust, and a lack of commitment,” said W. Bradford Wilcox, the director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia.
有人擔心這種賬務分開的趨勢對千禧一代的婚戀關(guān)系而言不是一個好兆頭。據(jù)《性別與社會》雜志2006年的一份研究稱，與賬務分管的夫妻相比，合并賬戶的夫妻保持穩(wěn)定關(guān)系的可能性更大。弗吉尼亞大學的全國婚姻項目負責人W. 布拉德福·威爾科克斯說：“如果夫妻各管各的帳，就說明他們之間缺乏一定的信任，也缺少對彼此的交托?！?/span>
But another scholar who specializes in families, Jeff Dew, an associate professor at Brigham Young, was skeptical about using the results of a 12-year-old study when thinking about today’s young newlyweds. “If Millennials are a quantitatively different generation,” he said, “those numbers may not apply to them.”
但另一位家庭方面的研究專家，楊百翰大學的副教授杰夫·迪尤，則對這一12年前的研究結(jié)果用于當今新婚夫婦的可行性提出了質(zhì)疑。他說：“如果千禧一代從根本上說已經(jīng)與上一代不同了，那這些數(shù)據(jù)就不能用來判斷他們的未來?！?/span>
Indeed, the 20- and 30-somethings I spoke with all felt strongly that separate bank accounts don’t signal a lack of trust—if anything, they said, it’s a sign that partners trust each other more. Zack and Karina Pasillas have a clear understanding that, if either of them needs money, they’ll help each other out. Their debts are due, and their salaries come in, at different times of the month, so sometimes one will cover the other. “It’s about having trust that, if needed, I can cover her end, and she can cover my end, too,” Zack Pasillas said.
的確，與我交談過的二三十歲的年輕人都堅定地認為，財務分管并非缺乏信任的標志，相反，他們說，這恰恰是夫妻對彼此更加信任的表現(xiàn)。扎克和卡瑞娜·卡西拉斯對此有一個明確的認識：如果他們中的任何一方需要錢，另一方就肯定會幫忙。他們兩人每月的還款日和工資進賬日都不同，所以有時候一個會幫另一個墊付信用卡賬單?！斑@說明了我們對彼此的信任，我們相信，在有需要的情況下，我可以幫她還錢，她也可以幫我還。”扎克·卡西拉斯說。
Going into their marriage, he and his wife knew married couples fight about finances more than anything else. “It’s the one thing we don’t ever want to argue about,” Zack said. Using one account for everything, they told me, leads to unnecessary conflict; the true sign of commitment is to split the bill down the middle.
結(jié)了婚以后，他和妻子都知道，夫妻之間為錢吵架的次數(shù)，遠遠多于其他任何一件事。但是扎克說：“錢是我們最最不要為之爭吵的一件事?！彼麄兏嬖V我，如果用一個賬戶來承擔所有的支出，就會導致不必要的矛盾。真正委身于婚姻的標志，是賬務兩個人平攤。
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