娶你所愛，還是愛你所娶
——關(guān)于愛與婚姻的對話
陳榮生 譯
（圖片欣賞——區(qū)怡攝/湛江）
學(xué)生問老師：“為什么兩個(gè)人墜入愛河之后往往會結(jié)婚呢？”
老師說：“為了回答你的問題，你先去麥田里挑選一束最好的麥子帶回來。但規(guī)則是，你只能從它們旁邊經(jīng)過一次，不能返回來摘取?！?/span>
學(xué)生去到麥田，穿過第一行的時(shí)候，他立即看到了他喜歡的一束大麥子，但他心想也許前面還有更大的。然后，他看到了另外一束更大的，但他再次心想也許還有更大的在等著他。
后來，他穿越了超過一半的麥田之后，開始意識到那些麥子都沒有他放棄掉的那些那么大，此時(shí)他開始意識到他為了找到一束更大的而失去了最好的那一束。
所以，他最后是空著手回到老師那里，因?yàn)樗皇菬o法原諒自己放棄了最好的小麥，然后他將所發(fā)生的事情告訴了老師。
老師對他說：“你一直在尋找一個(gè)更好的而放棄最好的，然后，當(dāng)你意識到你已經(jīng)失去了最好的那一束時(shí)，你不能返回了。這就是墜入愛河的人經(jīng)常犯的錯誤，所以他們失去了他們?nèi)松杏锌赡軗碛械淖詈玫娜恕！?/span>
學(xué)生聽了這話后說：“這是否意味著一個(gè)人永遠(yuǎn)不應(yīng)該墜入愛河？”
老師回答：“不是的。任何人找到合適的人都可以墜入愛河。但是，你一旦真正墜入愛河，那你就就不能因?yàn)槟愕膽嵟⒆晕一蚺c其他人比較而放棄那個(gè)人。”
“他們怎么能與一個(gè)自己不愛的人結(jié)婚呢？”學(xué)生問。
老師說：“為了回答你的問題，你先去玉米地挑選一個(gè)最大的玉米帶回來。但規(guī)則與之前的相同，你只能從它們旁邊經(jīng)過一次，不能返回來摘取?！?/span>
學(xué)生走進(jìn)玉米地，這次他小心翼翼，避免重復(fù)之前的錯誤。當(dāng)他走到玉米地中央的時(shí)候，他挑了一個(gè)自己感到滿意的中等大小的玉米，然后回到老師那里。
他講了他是怎樣做出選擇的。
老師對他說：“這次你沒有空手而歸。你找了一個(gè)恰到好處的，而且你相信這是你能夠得到的最好的一個(gè)。這就是人們對婚姻所做的一個(gè)選擇?！?/span>
學(xué)生站在那里，感到很困惑。
老師問：“現(xiàn)在什么事讓你心煩呢？”
學(xué)生答：“我在想哪個(gè)更好一些，是娶你所愛的人呢，還是愛你所娶的人？”
老師答：“這個(gè)問題非常容易回答，你只要愿意你自己接納即可?！?/span>
人生如同一籃水果。是吃你喜歡的水果，還是吃一些有益于健康的水果，你得做出選擇。要明智地選擇，否則你終身都會在想，如果怎樣怎樣，結(jié)果會是怎樣怎樣。只要你忠實(shí)于你自己，而且誠實(shí)，那么你在這兩者之間的選擇就不會出錯。
（作者佚名，譯自《寓意故事》）
您若認(rèn)為此文對教育有益，敬 請 傳 閱、推 薦、轉(zhuǎn) 載。
原文如下，若有問題，可留言，我將盡量回答。
The Conversation of Love and Marriage
A student asks a teacher,“Why often people marry a different person then they fell in love with?”
The teacher said,“in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the best wheat and come back. But the rule is that you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”
The student went to the field, went through the first row, he saw one big wheat which he instantly liked, but he wonders that maybe there is a bigger one further. Then he saw another bigger one, but again he thought that maybe there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he started to realize that the wheat is not as big as the ones he let go off, he started to realize that he had missed the best one in the search of a bigger.
So, he ended up going back to the teacher with an empty hand because he just wasn’t able to forgive himself for letting go of the best wheat and described what happened.
The teacher told him,“You kept looking for a better one while letting go of the best one and later when you realize that you have missed that, you can’t go back. This is the mistake often made by people who fell in love and lost the best person they could have in their life”
So, the student said,“Does that mean, one should never fall in love?”
The Teacher replied,“No Dear, Anyone can fall in love if they find a suitable person. But, once you truly fall in love, you must never let go of that person due to your anger, ego or comparisons with others”.
“How do they end up marrying someone other than they loved?”the student asked.
The teacher said,“in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is same as before, you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”
The student went to the corn field, this time he was careful to not to repeat the previous mistake. When he reached to the middle of the field, he picked one medium corn that he felt satisfied with and went back to the teacher.
He described how he made a choice.
The teacher told him,“This time you didn’t came empty handed. You looked for one that is just nice, and you had put your faith that this is the best one you can get. This is how one makes a choice for marriage.”
The student stood confused.
The teacher asked,“What is bothering you now?”
The student replied,“I am wondering which would have been better, marrying a person you love or loving the person you marry”.
The teacher replied, “It’s a very easy answer, only if you are willing to admit it to yourself”.
Moral: Life is like a basket of fruits. Either you have to make a choice of eating the fruit you love or be content with something that is healthy! Choose wisely else you may have to spend your life wondering, what if.. As long as you stay true to yourself and honest, you can’t go wrong with any of these two choices.
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