What is essential for a happy and successful life?
Math? No!
Science? No!
History? No!
It turns out what we learned at schools was just knowledge. Not skills.
Though knowledge makes you an intelligent and well-informed individual, it doesn’t teach you how to deal with the big stuff — like love and loss, pain and suffering, mental stress, etc.
The rising mental health cases are evidence.
I always found myself standing at the crossroads of life’s problems alone and unarmed. No one prepared me how to face them.
In our society, we are constantly being bombarded with advice that tells us how to act; not how to think. That’s where the real problem lies because the way you think dictates your beliefs, perceptions, acts, and hence happiness. In short, it defines the quality of life you’ll live.
Out of the many skills that teach you how to think, I present 5 of them through my life experiences.
Our elders don’t endorse crying in public. Do they?
Especially men, they aren’t supposed to!
I was 13 years old, and my dog — my best friend, had just died. I felt so much pain and sadness but was embarrassed to cry in front of my classmates. So, I held it all in.
I controlled my tears until I got home and was alone in my room.
That day, I learned how uncomfortable vulnerability is and why it’s necessary to be comfortable with it.
Most of us learn this at a very young age — to not show our weaknesses, hold everything in, and appear strong. But this is not how you should live your lives.
By being vulnerable, you are open to love, connection, and intimacy. You allow others to see you for who you are — flaws and all. And in return, you receive the same intimacy and connection.
When you are open and honest about your struggles, you permit others to do the same. You create a safe space for them to be vulnerable. And that is how you build strong relationships — the cornerstone of a happy life.
When I was younger, my family went through some tough times, and I had to learn how to be resilient. I had no choice.
I learned this by watching them stay strong in the face of adversity and never give up. That experience taught me that you can always pick yourself up and keep going no matter what life throws at you.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks and failures. It’s an essential life skill that nobody can ever teach you.
You have to learn it yourself through experience or by observing others.
When you’re resilient, you don’t give up after the first setback. You keep going no matter what happens. You learn from your mistakes and pick yourself up after every fall.
Resilience separates successful people from the ones who give up.
So how do you become more resilient? There’s no one answer to that question, but here are some tips:
Be positive and have a can-do attitude
Stay motivated and don’t give up
Persevere through hard times — Nothing stays forever
Learn from your mistakes
Make changes when necessary
Be flexible
Never give up on your dreams
I was always a shy and introverted person. I didn’t like talking to people I didn’t know. I definitely didn’t like speaking in public. This led to me having very few friends and not being very successful in my early career.
In fact, the only time I ever felt brave was when I was alone in my room, with nobody around to judge me.
One day, I decided enough was enough. I was tired of being shy and reserved, and I wanted to change. So, I started small. I began by talking to people I didn’t know. I’d say hello and ask them about their life.
I also took up jobs that required public speaking — Lecturer at a University, marketing, sales, etc.
I gradually worked my way up to speaking in public. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.
Most of us go through life afraid of taking risks. We play it safe because we don’t want to fail. But what we don’t realize is that by not taking risks, we are already failing.
You will never achieve your dreams if you don’t dare to go after them. It takes bravery to put yourself out there, risk being rejected, and face your fears.
But it’s worth it.
When you take risks, you learn things about yourself that you never knew before.
You discover what you’re capable of and what you’re not.
You learn how to deal with failure and setbacks. And most importantly, you learn how to live with regret.
So be brave. Take risks. And never be afraid to fall. Failing is a part of the success plan.
I was scrolling through my Facebook feed the other day when I saw a post about a woman who had just lost her baby.
As I read the comments, I was disgusted by the amount of hatred and negativity that people were spewing.
I was surprised by how much hate people could have in their hearts.
This experience made me realize how important it is to have empathy.
In our society, we are constantly bombarded with messages of hate and negativity. It’s easy to get caught up in that and start hating people. But it’s important to remember that everyone is fighting their own battles.
We don’t know what someone else is going through. So, it’s all about putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes and feeling their pain as if it was our own.
Empathy allows you to connect with others on a deeper level and build meaningful relationships.
As a child, I was always the one who had to figure out how to make things work. We were a middle-class family and my parents couldn’t always afford to buy me the things I wanted or needed.
So, I learned how to be resourceful. I would go through our junk storage room and find things that I could use to make something new. I would also go through our pantry and fridge, looking for leftovers to create a meal.
Resourcefulness is one of the most essential life skills that you can have. It’s the skill that helps you find solutions to problems and get things done. It’s the skill that helps you make the most of what you have.
The ability to be resourceful is a life skill that can’t be taught in any school or institution. It’s something that you have to learn on your own through experience.
There will be times in your life when you’ll need to figure out how to solve problems without any help from anyone else. This could be anything from finding a new job to fixing a broken-down car.
The only way to learn how to be resourceful is by trial and error.
Every time you face a problem, try to figure out a solution on your own before asking for help. Not only will this make you more self-reliant, but it will also give you a sense of satisfaction when you manage to solve a problem on your own.
Life is unpredictable. You never know when you’re going to need a skill that you don’t have.
That’s why it’s important to make yourselves better every day.
You won’t learn everything you need to know about being a successful and happy adult in school. If you want to learn these skills, you’ll have to live your life.
You can read books and articles, but if you want to “l(fā)earn,” then you’ll have to:
Embrace vulnerability
Make mistakes but not repeat them
Be brave and take risks
Be empathetic
Be resourceful
What are some life skills you think are important to living a healthy and happy life?
Let me know in the comments below.
Originally published on medium.
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