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國外精彩婚姻幽默段子(中英文對(duì)照)
"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
如果有人搶了你的老婆,最好的報(bào)復(fù)就是讓他留著。
Lee Majors
(美國電影明星 - 李.梅爾)

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay" together.

結(jié)婚後夫妻就像一個(gè)硬幣的兩面·;他們不但不能面對(duì)面,而且還分不開。
Al Gore
(克林頓當(dāng)總統(tǒng)時(shí)的副總統(tǒng) - 阿爾·戈?duì)?

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
不管怎麼樣,還是結(jié)婚的好。如果你找到一個(gè)好太太,你會(huì)很幸福。假如你找到一個(gè)壞的,你會(huì)成為一個(gè)哲學(xué)家。

Socrates (古希臘的思想家、哲學(xué)家,教育家 - 蘇格拉底)


"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them."
女人給了男人做大事的激勵(lì)和靈感,同時(shí)又給了男人完成大事的阻力。

Mike Tyson (前美國拳王 - 麥克.泰森)


"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
有一個(gè)好問題我總是沒答案;那就是 “女人到底想要什麼?”
George Clooney (美國著名演員 - 喬治·克魯尼)


"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."

我跟我太太才說了幾個(gè)字,她卻回了我一段長篇大論。
Bill Clinton (美國前總統(tǒng)- 比爾.克林頓)


"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

有人問我婚姻能維持這麼長的秘密。我們每個(gè)星期去餐館兩次。晚餐有燭光,音樂,和跳舞。她星期二去,我星期五去。
George W. Bush (美國前總統(tǒng) - 小布希)


"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

我不怕恐怖分子。我已經(jīng)結(jié)婚兩年了。
Rudy Giuliani (前紐約市911事件時(shí)的市長 - 魯?shù)?朱利安尼)


"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up."

有兩個(gè)秘密能讓你的婚姻圓滿:

1. 當(dāng)你錯(cuò)時(shí),馬上認(rèn)錯(cuò)。
2. 當(dāng)你對(duì)時(shí),閉上嘴巴。
Shaquille O’Neal (美國籃球巨星 - 沙奎爾.奧尼爾)


"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..."

最有效的方法記住你太太的生日就是先忘掉一次。
Kobe Bryant (美國籃球巨星 - 科比·布萊恩特)


"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

我太太和我都高高興興的過了二十年,然後我們相遇了。

Alec Baldwin
(美國電影明星 - 亞歷克.鮑德溫)

"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."

一個(gè)好太太當(dāng)她是錯(cuò)的時(shí)候總是原諒她的丈夫。
Barack Obama (美國總統(tǒng)- 歐巴馬)

"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."

婚姻是唯一的敵我睡在一張床上的戰(zhàn)爭。
Tommy Lee (美國老牌電影明星 - 湯米.李)


"First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

有個(gè)人驕傲的說 “我的太太是天使!”
另一個(gè)聽到的人說 “你真幸運(yùn)!我的還活著!”

Jimmy Kimmel (美國著名電視節(jié)目主持人 - 吉米.金米爾)

“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”

親愛的,女士優(yōu)先又怎麼了?” 丈夫回答說,”今天世界亂成這個(gè)樣子就是因?yàn)橛信南葋砹?!?/i>
David Letterman
(美國電視著名脫口秀主持人 - 大衛(wèi).萊特曼)
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