對(duì)大多數(shù)人來(lái)說(shuō)Facebook這類SNS社區(qū)是一個(gè)維護(hù)朋友關(guān)系最棒的地方。你可以在上面分享最近的感受、旅游照片、看到的新鮮事?？墒侵绬幔坑袝r(shí)候在這些社交網(wǎng)上瞎曖昧的調(diào)情卻有可能造成現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中真的婚姻破裂，因?yàn)樯缃痪W(wǎng)站經(jīng)常導(dǎo)致婚姻不忠誠(chéng)情況出現(xiàn)。另外還有不少夫妻將通過Facebook找到的配偶出軌信息當(dāng)作提出離婚的證據(jù)。
FOR most people, Facebook is a harmless way to keep in touch with friends and family. But flirtations on the social networking site are now becoming a factor in marriagebreakdowns. One online law firm says 20 per cent of their divorcepetitions in the past year contain references to Facebook。
對(duì)大多數(shù)人來(lái)說(shuō)Facebook這類SNS社區(qū)是一個(gè)維護(hù)朋友關(guān)系最棒的地方。你可以在上面分享最近的感受、旅游照片、看到的新鮮事?？墒侵绬幔坑袝r(shí)候在這些社交網(wǎng)上瞎曖昧的調(diào)情卻有可能造成現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中真的婚姻破裂，因?yàn)樯缃痪W(wǎng)站經(jīng)常導(dǎo)致婚姻不忠誠(chéng)情況出現(xiàn)。另外還有不少夫妻將通過Facebook找到的配偶出軌信息當(dāng)作提出離婚的證據(jù)。
Mark Keenan, fromdivorce-online.com, says: "A lot of people found things out about theirpartner on Facebook. "The most common thing seems to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they are not really supposed to." With lawyers predicting that divorce-related enquiries will rise by 25 per cent this month compared to January 2009, here ELLIE WHITE speaks to two women whose marriages collapsed because of Facebook。
來(lái)自英國(guó)的一個(gè)律師事務(wù)所的介紹，他們處理的離婚案件中，有20%都是因?yàn)镕acebook 而出問題分道揚(yáng)鑣。不過這并不能說(shuō)明Facebook魅力無(wú)敵，讓人沉迷其中都不惜拋棄愛人了。而是說(shuō)，現(xiàn)在的夫妻對(duì)婚姻缺乏信任感，以至于常常查看對(duì)方Facebook網(wǎng)頁(yè)，直到從Facebook某些曖昧調(diào)情留言中，認(rèn)定對(duì)方有出軌，從而婚姻走向破裂。
Some names have been changed。
本文主人公使用化名
Case study 1 案例1：
MARIANNA GINI, 32, a housing support worker, lives in London with her son Adam, eight.She was married for six years before she found out through Facebook that her husband Robert, 34, was having an affair。
They divorced in June 2008. She says:"A relative of my husband's mistress contacted me on Facebook and toldme he was having an affair.I had suspected him for some time because whenever I looked at hisprofile page there were messages on there from women I had never seenor heard of.I knew he was having an affair because when I look at his Facebookpage, there were messages from girls I've never heard of.But Robert works as a pastor and is a religious
man, so when I confronted him about the messages and he told me I hadnothing to worry about, I believed him.He was spending a lot of time in Brazil at the time, for work, and saidthe posts were from members of his church community there - women who needed his spiritual help.I admit I was jealous - and suspicious - but he was my husband and Itrusted him.The posts kept appearing and I was mortified.I felt like I was being made a fool of.I also knew that there could be many messages he was receiving that Icouldn't see.Then, in September 2006, I received an email from the sister-in-law ofa woman he was having an affair with.I couldn't believe she had contacted me - but she said she thought Ineeded to know.I was very upset, but also relieved. Again, I confronted him. Hecouldn't deny it any more. So I told him I wanted a divorce.I was happy to be out of the marriage and away from the stress andunhappiness.I hate to think what would have happened if Facebook hadn't alerted me.It is a horrible way to find out that your marriage is a lie. But I'mglad I found out - it could have gone on for years without me knowing."
32歲的母親MARIANNA GINI 目前和她8歲的兒子單獨(dú)生活在一起，她和丈夫是在2008年離婚的，起因便是她在Facebook上看到自己34歲的丈夫與其他女人有了外遇。MARIANNA 說(shuō)“那個(gè)‘第三者’在Facebook上加了我為好友，并告訴了一切實(shí)情。其實(shí)才開始我也有懷疑丈夫，因?yàn)榭偸窃谡煞虻腇acebook上看到該人的身影之后，不過我并沒有想到當(dāng)事人會(huì)主動(dòng)加我好友告訴我一切。我聽過后，相當(dāng)?shù)碾y過和失望。當(dāng)我把這一切告訴丈夫時(shí)，他仍舊在繼續(xù)對(duì)我進(jìn)行欺騙，于是我和他離婚了。” MARIANNA 還說(shuō)，如果沒有Facebook 告訴我這一切，我還不知道自己要被欺騙到何時(shí)。
Case study 2案例2：
SARAH PICKET, 36, is a housewife from Oldham。
Themum of three was married to taxi driver Chris, also 36, for eightyears, until her Facebook flirtations led to their split. She says:"TWO years ago I started on Facebook and was soon addicted.I loved tracing people I had lost touch with. Then ex-boyfriends started to find me.Karl was a guy I'd dated for two years.He still looked lovely and soon we were flirting.I told my husband my password - I had nothing to hide. But I didn'tthink he'd start looking at my messages.One from Karl joked about a time we'd been caught snogging round theback of a nightclub.Chris read it and went mad.I changed my password and he accused me of keeping secrets.Within months we were having explosive rows. But I couldn't stay awayfrom Facebook.As soon as I dropped the kids off at school I'd be on it and when thekids were in bed I'd be on it again, sometimes until the early hours.Chris was very jealous and convinced I was having an affair.I wasn't but I was flirting a lot.It came to a head a year ago.I was out with my girlfriends and I kept spotting his taxi outside barsI was drinking in.He was following me. That's when I realised all the trust had gone outof my relationship.I confronted him and we had a blazing row in the street. I told him he should move out。
36歲的家庭主婦SARAH PICKET，2年前迷上了Facebook，并在上面與自己的前任男友有了聯(lián)系。“他看上去還像以前一樣可愛，很快我們就開始調(diào)情了。”SARAH說(shuō)，“起初，我認(rèn)為這不是什么秘密也沒有什么隱私，就把Facebook的密碼告訴了丈夫。但我認(rèn)為他并不會(huì)去真的查看我的郵件。不過事實(shí)證明我錯(cuò)了，丈夫真的看了那些調(diào)情郵件，并鄭重其事的警告了我。我立馬修改了密碼，不過得來(lái)的卻是丈夫更多的懷疑，于是問題便在這樣一點(diǎn)一點(diǎn)的懷疑中爆發(fā)了。我當(dāng)時(shí)仍舊非常沉迷Facebook，嚴(yán)重的時(shí)候甚至忘記了生病的孩子，而丈夫則徹底的認(rèn)為我有了外遇，雖然僅僅是在網(wǎng)絡(luò)上。我們之間已經(jīng)缺乏了最基本的信任，丈夫甚至跟蹤我到酒吧，還以為我真的有出什么事情吶……”
That was a year ago and we're now getting divorced.I'm single and enjoying my freedom... and I can go on Facebook without being hassled."
CHRIS SAYS: "Facebook wrecked our marriage.I didn't like her flirting. She wouldn't like me doing it so why should she?After what has happened, I don't go on networking sites. I hate them."
SARAH 最后說(shuō)道“現(xiàn)在好了，離婚一年了，我單身了，再也沒人打擾我玩Facebook了。”她丈夫說(shuō)：“Facebook已經(jīng)毀了我的婚姻。我不喜歡她和別人調(diào)情——她也不會(huì)喜歡我這樣，可她為什么還是堅(jiān)持如此？”“自從事情發(fā)生之后，我就再也不上這類網(wǎng)站了！恨透他們了！”
Couldn't keep away ... Sarah loves Facebook SARAH 直到現(xiàn)在依然非常熱衷于上Facebook，她離不開它了。小編注：在SNS社區(qū)大流行的今天，我們還是要辯證的看待這樣一件事。感情破裂的原因還是多要從自己身上找，是不是兩個(gè)人之間的信任基礎(chǔ)太過于薄弱？是不是自己過于敏感？是不是自己不夠重視這份感情等等。要記得，太多猜疑和警惕的感情會(huì)短壽哦！
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