克服恐懼和疑慮的6個(gè)關(guān)鍵
by Jonathan
by Jonathan
This is a guest post from Dr. Annette Colby.
這是一篇來(lái)自Annette Colby博士的客座博文。
翻譯：Shayne Yeats
If you are like most people, you have a goal or a dream that is meaningful and that you want to achieve. That goal may be related to personal growth issues such as weight loss, gaining self-esteem, finding inner peace, increasing your energy levels, or overcoming depression.
大部分人活著都有一個(gè)目標(biāo)，或是一個(gè)對(duì)自己來(lái)說(shuō)很有意義的夢(mèng)想，而且很想把它們變成現(xiàn)實(shí)。那個(gè)目標(biāo)也許與諸如減肥、獲得自尊、找回內(nèi)心平靜、提升自己的能量層次或克服壓抑的情緒這些個(gè)人成長(zhǎng)話題有關(guān)。
Or, your goal may include going back to school, entering a new career, or bringing your creative talents into a greater public light. Having a goal is the easy part. Attempting to move through your own inner obstacles can literally leave you terrified, completely paralyzed by your own fear.
或者，你的目標(biāo)可能是重新回到校園去學(xué)習(xí)，開(kāi)始新的職業(yè)生涯，或是讓公眾也注意到你的天賦。設(shè)定一個(gè)目標(biāo)是一件很簡(jiǎn)單的事。而要克服內(nèi)心的障礙卻要難得多，因?yàn)槟愫苋菀拙蜁?huì)被內(nèi)心的恐懼所嚇倒。
If you have tried to reach your goal and stopped because you encountered a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, don’t give up. That is the nature of goals. They take you into new territory and bring you face-to-face with your own fears and doubts. The issue is not about how to avoid fear, but how to make positive decisions that boost your confidence while fear is present.
假如你在追尋夢(mèng)想的路途上遇到了一個(gè)貌似不可逾越的障礙而停止了前進(jìn)的腳步的話，我建議你不要輕言放棄。不經(jīng)歷風(fēng)雨哪見(jiàn)彩虹呢？目標(biāo)會(huì)把你帶到一片新天地，同時(shí)你也不得不去直面自己的恐懼和疑慮。問(wèn)題的關(guān)鍵并不是如何逃避恐懼，而是如何做出積極的決定在你心存猶豫的時(shí)候堅(jiān)定信念。
Every day, many people give up on their dreams due to self-doubt and fear. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Here are six steps to overcoming doubt and fear and bringing your own goals to life.
每天，都有無(wú)數(shù)的人會(huì)因?yàn)樽晕覒岩珊涂謶侄艞壸约旱膲?mèng)想。但那都是可以避免的！下文就指出了克服恐懼和疑慮，走向夢(mèng)想的六個(gè)步驟。
1. Make a Decision. Once you define your dream or goal, decide that you want to live this kind of happy and satisfied life. This may seem basic but many people never decide and commit fully to their dream. They simply keep “thinking” about it. Or, when the first obstacle appears and they give up. Make a commitment to yourself. Right now is not the time to worry about how to make it happen, or how you are going to move through your challenges. Instead, plant the seed of your dream inside of you and you commit to loving this seed until the day you can harvest the fruits of your efforts.
1.做一個(gè)決定。一旦你有了一個(gè)夢(mèng)想或目標(biāo)，你就要決定開(kāi)始過(guò)一種開(kāi)心、舒心的生活。這看上去似乎是最基本的，但許多人卻從來(lái)都沒(méi)有對(duì)自己的夢(mèng)想做出過(guò)這樣的承諾。他們只是在簡(jiǎn)單地“琢磨”它。這樣的話，當(dāng)?shù)谝粋€(gè)障礙出現(xiàn)時(shí)，他們就會(huì)放棄。對(duì)自己做一個(gè)承諾?，F(xiàn)在你擔(dān)心的不是如何實(shí)現(xiàn)夢(mèng)想，也不是如何克服一個(gè)個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)，而是在自己內(nèi)心種下這個(gè)夢(mèng)想，并承諾你將堅(jiān)持不懈地為此付出努力直到收獲的那天到來(lái)。
Honor your commitment to self. No one can let you down more than you can. Make a commitment about what you want and stand strong in your commitment. No matter how challenging, how fearful, or overwhelming it may seem, decide you are going for it! Why? For no other reason than because you want it. There are no should’s, have to’s, or weak choices. This is something you want for yourself and a choice you have made.
尊重你給自己所做出的承諾。除了你自己外沒(méi)有人有能力讓你停止前進(jìn)的腳步。對(duì)你想要得到的事做一個(gè)承諾，并且堅(jiān)定不移地信守這個(gè)承諾。不論有多大的挑戰(zhàn)，不論有多大的恐懼，不論希望有多渺茫，你都要知難而上。這意味著，沒(méi)有“應(yīng)該”、“必須”或“弱項(xiàng)”這些字眼。一切都關(guān)乎于你自己，這是你自己所做的決定。
2. You Are Not Your Fear. As you move forward on your dream, doubt and fear are going to show up sooner than you might have expected. To move beyond fear, it is helpful to learn to separate yourself from your fear. For example, instead of thinking an all encompassing statement such as, “I am fearful,” learn instead to say, “There is a part of me that is fearful and doesn’t want to move forward. But somewhere inside of me there is also a desire to continue moving forward.”
2.你是你，而不是你的恐懼。在你追求夢(mèng)想的過(guò)程中，疑慮和恐懼會(huì)出乎意料地出現(xiàn)在你眼前。要克服恐懼，你要學(xué)會(huì)將你和你的恐懼分離開(kāi)來(lái)。比如，你不該有“我很害怕”這種思想，你應(yīng)該這樣考慮“我身體的一部分感到恐懼，而且不想前進(jìn)。但是我身體中的另一個(gè)部分卻渴望著想要繼續(xù)前進(jìn)?！?b class="label bg2" jquery1320069612359="65">
Fear is not all of who you are, rather it is an emotion that you are experiencing. The key is to recognize your fear, avoid becoming identified with your fear, and keep breathing. Breathing keeps energy moving and prevents you from being consumed in fear’s heavy embrace.
恐懼不是你的全部，它只不是你所經(jīng)歷的一種情緒而已。關(guān)鍵就是要承認(rèn)自己的恐懼，并且避免自己認(rèn)可這種恐懼，同時(shí)保持呼吸。呼吸有助于能量的移動(dòng)而且把你從恐懼的夢(mèng)魘中解救出來(lái)。
No matter how scary it seems, decide to sit with your emotion of fear for the purpose of accepting its presence, but not necessarily agreeing with it’s point of view. Acceptance helps because avoiding it doesn’t make it go away, looking the other way doesn’t make it disappear, and ignoring it does not make it any less painful. So, breathe. Then tell yourself that even though you are feeling intense fear, you can still take action. Look fear in the eye and let it know, “You are not the boss of me!” Then take the necessary steps to gain new tools and strategies to move forward on your dream once again.
不論現(xiàn)實(shí)情況看上去有多恐怖，你都要學(xué)會(huì)接納恐懼，但不能夠認(rèn)可這種情緒。接納它會(huì)管用，因?yàn)樘颖芩⒉荒茏屗x開(kāi)，尋找其它的方法也不會(huì)讓它消失，忽視它也不會(huì)減少你的痛苦。所以，呼吸。然后告訴你自己，雖然你感到恐懼，但你還可以正常地做事。坦然面對(duì)恐懼然后對(duì)它說(shuō)“你才不是我的老板！”接下去，你就該采取新的方法和策略繼續(xù)追尋你的夢(mèng)想。
3. Change your attitude about failure. Long ago, a quote arrived in my email that read, “You try things, some work, some don’t, and you do more of what works.” These simple words suggest that the formula for success is that if you want to grow and succeed, you also have to be willing to fail. Certainly, no one actually wants to experience failure.
3.改變對(duì)失敗的看法。很久以前，我在電子郵件中讀到一句名言“你所做的事，一些會(huì)給你帶來(lái)價(jià)值，另一些則不會(huì)，那么你就該多做那些有價(jià)值的事?！边@句簡(jiǎn)單的話暗示了成功的公式就是敢于面對(duì)失敗，你就會(huì)成功。我很確信，沒(méi)有人會(huì)真的想去體驗(yàn)失敗。
However, if you want to succeed at something new, you will most likely experience setbacks, obstacles, and failures along the way. To be successful, redefine failure in a manner allowing yourself to see failure as “information.”Failure is really just feedback telling you to evaluate your experience, utilize the information gained to adjust your plan, and then try a new approach. When you experience a failure – get up, dust yourself off, access the information gained, revise your course, and begin again.
但是，如果你想要在某個(gè)新領(lǐng)域內(nèi)成功的話，你都要在途中面對(duì)許多挫敗、障礙和失敗。想要成功，你就該把失敗看成是某種“信息”。失敗其實(shí)是在告訴你，你該反思一下你的所作所為，吸取經(jīng)驗(yàn)教訓(xùn)，然后嘗試新的方法。當(dāng)你失敗了的時(shí)候------站起來(lái)，重振旗鼓，吸取經(jīng)驗(yàn)教訓(xùn)，調(diào)整一下計(jì)劃，然后再去嘗試。
4. Build Your Confidence Muscle. Although achieving your dream will bring up stress, fear, doubt, this experience is precisely what is necessary for a confidence breakthrough to occur. It is not enough to make self-supporting choices when your journey is easy, you have to do it when it’s hardest to do so. That’s because to break through what is holding you back, you have to go through the doubt. You can’t dance around it, wish it away, or analyze how to avoid the experience. Making self-empowering decisions under stress is what leads you authentic personal growth and solidifies inner change.
4.增強(qiáng)自信心。在你追求自己的夢(mèng)想的過(guò)程中你會(huì)體驗(yàn)到壓力、恐懼和疑慮，這些經(jīng)驗(yàn)對(duì)你的自信心的形成來(lái)說(shuō)是不可缺少的。當(dāng)你一路順風(fēng)的時(shí)候，你總是信心滿滿，但更為重要的是，當(dāng)你遭遇艱難的困境時(shí)你也該保持自信心。那是因?yàn)槿绻阆胍獢[脫拖你后腿的事情的話，你就必須要去克服疑慮。如果你只是去分析如何避免這種情況的發(fā)生而什么事也不做的話，疑慮是不會(huì)自動(dòng)消失的。在重重壓力下鼓勵(lì)自己會(huì)讓你走向真正的個(gè)人成長(zhǎng)，而且會(huì)讓你的內(nèi)心變得更堅(jiān)強(qiáng)。
It’s the challenges of your journey that offer hundreds of opportunities to develop your confidence muscle and gain mastery over your experiences. Every obstacle, setback, or failure offers you a new chance to believe in yourself instead of falling into doubt and fear.
正是你一路上所面對(duì)的一個(gè)個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)讓你有無(wú)數(shù)次的機(jī)會(huì)去增強(qiáng)自己的自信心，并主宰自己的人生。每一個(gè)障礙、挫敗或失敗都提供給你一個(gè)新的機(jī)會(huì)，它讓你去相信自己而不是陷入疑慮和恐懼的境地。
5. Decide You Don’t Have To Do Anything. Here is an experiment. For the next 48 hours, eliminate the words “I have to” from your vocabulary and substitute the words “I choose to.” Instead of saying, “I have to move forward on my goal” say, “I choose to take this specific action step today.” Or, you could just as effectively say, “I choose not to take any action step today.” Either choice allows you to understand that you are the person in control of your choices. You set the priorities. You are responsible. You have control. Feel how empowering this simple change of words can be.
5.你沒(méi)必要什么事都要去做一下。這里有一個(gè)例子。在未來(lái)的48個(gè)小時(shí)里，把“我必須去”這個(gè)字眼從你的字典里去除，取而代之的應(yīng)該是“我選擇去”。不要說(shuō)“我必須要向我的目標(biāo)再前進(jìn)一步”，你應(yīng)該說(shuō)，“我今天就選擇去采取這個(gè)特別的行動(dòng)?！被蛘?，你也可以說(shuō)，“今天，我選擇什么事也不做?！边@兩個(gè)選擇都告訴你，只有你才是你人生的真正主人。你設(shè)定了事情的優(yōu)先次序。你有責(zé)任心。你有控制力。想想看，就幾個(gè)字詞的改變就可以帶來(lái)如此巨大的改變。
6. Ask Yourself Empowering Questions. Certain types of questions can lead you to gain new insights and new motivation. Ask yourself the following questions, allow yourself to answer them from your heart, and see where your truths take you: Are your dreams important enough to change your daily lifestyle?
6.給自己提一些激勵(lì)性的問(wèn)題。特定的幾個(gè)問(wèn)題會(huì)引導(dǎo)你獲得新的見(jiàn)解和新的動(dòng)機(jī)。問(wèn)一下自己以下的幾個(gè)問(wèn)題，并允許自己說(shuō)真心話，然后再看看你的信念將你帶到了何方：你的夢(mèng)想是否足夠的重要？以至于它可以改變你的日常生活方式。
Do you want to be responsible for your own life decisions?
你是否真的想要為你自己的人生決定負(fù)責(zé)？
Do you have the courage to go after what you want with tenacity and see it through to the end?
你是否有勇氣去追求你的夢(mèng)想？并且能夠堅(jiān)韌不拔地走到最后。
Can you accept that fear is part of the journey and move forward anyway?
你是否能接納人生中的恐懼？并且繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。
Can you recognize that fear is only your leader if you allow it to be?
你是否認(rèn)為只有在你自己允許的情況下，恐懼才會(huì)成為你的主人？
Being able to overcome your doubt and fears so you can bring into reality the life of your dreams is one of the best experiences in the world! Take control of your life by practicing these five simple steps and learn how to tame your fear and create a happier, more successful life.
克服恐懼和疑慮并實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的夢(mèng)想，是人生在世最美妙的經(jīng)驗(yàn)之一。通過(guò)訓(xùn)練文章中所提到的五個(gè)步驟就可以掌控你自己的人生，而且你也會(huì)學(xué)會(huì)任何馴服恐懼并創(chuàng)造一個(gè)更幸福、更成功的人生。
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