Couples usually ask for advice when they are just about ready to throw in the towel. Their Love Banks have been losing love units so long that they are now deeply in the red. And their negative Love Bank accounts makes them feel very uncomfortable just being in the same room with each other. To be in love again means they must re-deposit all of the love units that were withdrawn. In order to deposit enough love units to fall in love, they must follow rules that they don't feel like following.
夫妻往往在婚姻面臨崩潰時才會向他人尋求忠告。此時他們愛情銀行中的愛情貨幣早已是虧欠多時，他們也因而陷入深深的愛情赤字當中。他們消極的愛情儲蓄使他們甚至只要同處一室就會覺得非常的不舒服。如果他們想要找回那些被遺忘的愛，那么他們就必須把各自從愛情銀行中取回的愛情貨幣再全部重新存回他們的愛情銀行中。為了儲存足夠的愛情貨幣，他們必須遵循下面這些也許他們并不喜歡的規(guī)定。
The Rule of Care: Meet Your Spouse's Most Important Emotional Needs
Even when the feeling of love begins to fade, or when it's gone entirely, it can be recovered whenever you both go back to being an expert at knowing each other's needs and learn to meet those needs in a way that is fulfilling to your spouse, and enjoyable for you, too.
關(guān)心法則：滿足你愛人最迫切的情感需求
如果你們能重新成為通曉彼此需求的專家，并學會用雙方都能覺得愉快的方式來滿足這些需求，那么即使你們的愛情已經(jīng)開始消退，或者早已不復存在，也能很快地被重新找回。
The Rule of Protection: Avoid Being the Cause of Your Spouse's Unhappiness
It's pointless to deposit love units if you withdraw them right away. So in addition to meeting important emotional needs, you must be sure to protect the Love Bank from withdrawals by paying attention to how your everyday behavior makes each other unhappy. You and your spouse were born to be angry, disrespectful, demanding, annoying and dishonest. These are normal human traits that I call Love Busters because they destroy affection. To eliminate them, you will do whatever it takes to overcome these destructive tendencies for your spoise's protection.
保護法則：避免成為對方的不安因素
如果你們一存進愛情貨幣就想立馬取回，那么這是毫無意義的。所以，除了滿足彼此迫切的情感需求外，你們還要通過特別留心那些日常生活中讓彼此不愉快的行為，來保護愛情銀行中的愛情貨幣不被立即取回。你和你的愛人彼此之間免不了會生氣、不敬、苛求、惱怒甚至欺騙。這些典型的人性弱點我把它們稱之為愛情克星，因為它們會破壞夫妻之間的感情。要消除這些愛情克星，你就必須不惜一切代價的克制住這些非常具有殺傷力的沖動來保護你的愛人。
The Rule of Honesty
Reveal to your spouse as much information about yourself as you know——your thoughts, feelings, habits, likes, dislikes, personal history, daily activities, and plans for the future. Honesty and Openness can trigger the feeling of love. But it's counterpart, dishonesty, is one of the most destructive Love Busters. Besides, honesty is the only way couples will come to understand each other. To avoid conflict, they sometimes deliberately misinform each other as to their feeling, personal history, activities, and plans. This not only leads to a failure to meet an important emotional need, and a withdrawal of love units when the deception is discovered, it also makes marital conflicts impossible to resolve. After all, how can you and your spouse solve a problem if your cards are not on the table? Without honesty, the adjustments that are crucial to the creation of compatibility in your marriage cannot be made.
誠實法則
彼此坦誠相待，盡可能地讓你的愛人了解你的思想，情感，習慣，喜惡，個人經(jīng)歷，日?；顒右约坝嘘P(guān)未來的計劃。因為誠實和坦率大大有助于增加彼此間的感情。但是與此相對應的，欺騙，也將會是愛情克星中最具殺傷力的一個。此外，誠實也是夫妻之間相互理解的唯一途徑。有時候為了避免沖突，夫妻間可能會對他們的情感、個人經(jīng)歷、日?；顒雍陀媱澒室獾挠兴Ａ?。這不僅會使雙方所迫切的情感需求得不到滿足，在欺騙被發(fā)現(xiàn)后，愛情銀行中的愛情貨幣也會被支取，它還會使婚姻矛盾上升到不可調(diào)合的程度。畢竟，如果你們對對方都有所保留的話，那么叫你和你的愛人如何解決你們之間的問題呢？缺少誠實，婚姻生活無論如何都是不會和諧融洽的。
The Rule of Time: Take to Give Your Spouse Your Undivided Attention
When you are dating, you give each other this kind of attention and you fall in love. When people have affairs, they also give each other this kind of attention to keep their love for each other alive. Why can't it happen in marriage as well? It can, if you set aside time every week to give each other undivided attention. Schedule your time to be alone with each other as your highest priority, even if your career, your time with your children, and a host of other demands will compete for your time together.
時間法則：抽出時間給你的愛人你全神貫注的愛
當你們約會的時候，你們都會全神貫注的對待彼此，所以你們會墜入愛河。當人們發(fā)生婚外戀時，他們也會全神貫注的對待彼此以此來維系這段感情。為什么只有在求愛和婚外戀時才會愛意濃濃，難道結(jié)了婚就不可以了嘛？如果你每周能撥出時間給你的愛人奉上你全神貫注的愛，那么這完全是可以做到的。即使當你的事業(yè)，你的孩子和其他一些事情同時需要你時，你也要把你和愛人的獨處時間安排成頭等大事。
