Learning toyield 爸爸教我
ByC.H.Macinnes 都寧 方莉莉 譯注 孫亦麗 校
Iwasn’t watching where I was going as we left the DMV. I just stared at thelittle card with my picture on it. Fortunately, Dad was guiding me out thedoor.
“Congratulations,”he said as we crossed the parking lot. “Think I’ll ever get to drive again?
Ijumped into the driver’s seat. “Don’t count on it！ I said.
AllI’d thought about for months was getting that driver’s license. In my mind, itwas the ticket to freedom. And I knew just how life would go after that. I’d bethe one taking my friends to basketball games and out for pizza. I’d be able tolisten to my music as loud as I wanted. Maybe I’d even get up the nerve tooffer Brandon Lincoln a ride home.
Soevery evening I’d beg dad to take me driving. We had some of our best talks as I steered the mini-van up into the hills. Sometimes we talked about guys I likedor how things were going at school, or I’d try to argue with him about his rules.But we talked about deeper things, too—even stuff like the
我們從機(jī)動車輛管理處出來時(shí)， 我根本沒再看腳下的路。我只是盯著那張上面有我照片的小卡片。幸好，爸爸領(lǐng)著我走出了大門。
我們穿過停車場時(shí)，他對我說：“祝賀你！想想還用我在開車嗎？”
我一下子跳到駕駛座上，說：“您別指望了！”
幾個(gè)月來， 我腦子里只想著要拿到駕照。我認(rèn)為這是一張通向自由的入場券。我知道拿到駕照之后生活會變成什么樣子、我會帶朋友們?nèi)タ椿@球比賽，去吃皮薩餅；我可以在聽音樂時(shí)，音量想開多大就開多大?；蛟S，我甚至?xí)淖阌職?，請布蘭登 林肯搭車回家。
因此，每天晚上，我都求爸爸帶我去開車。駕駛者那輛小型貨車駛向山丘時(shí)，我和爸爸有過一些最開心的交談。有時(shí)我們談?wù)撐蚁矚g的男孩，談?wù)搶W(xué)校里發(fā)生的事情，有時(shí)我會和他爭辯他定的那些規(guī)則。但是我們也談?wù)撘恍┥顚哟蔚臇|西，甚至?xí)劦街T如未
future andeternity. It always surprised me how much he knew about life.
Still, nothingseemed as important to me then as that license. I felt sure that once I got it,I would never want another thing in my life.
But as werounded the corner that day, I saw a familiar neon sign: Louis Fehr’s Used Cars.
Suddenly, Irealized that I’d been thinking too small. What if I had my own car? Then I coulddrive it anytime I wanted, not just when Dad wasn’t using his. I could put cool bumper sticker on the back and personalize it by hanging stuff on the rearviewmirror. I wouldn’t have to clean it out when I was done driving. It would be myhaven. My refuge. My …
What’s on yourmind?” Dad asked. “You’ve been stopped at this green light for quite a while.”
“Oops”, I put myfoot on the gas a little too hard, and the car lurched forward. Dad covered hiseyes in mock fear.
“Daddy …” Ibegan, doing my best puppy dog eyes.
Dad groaned. Heknew that look.
“I was justthinking …life would be a
來和來世這類問題。我始終覺得驚奇，爸爸對生活怎么動的那么多。
不過， 那是似乎沒有什么東西比駕照對我更重要。我堅(jiān)信， 一旦拿到駕照， 我生活中就再也不需要?jiǎng)e的什么東西了。
但是， 那天我們轉(zhuǎn)過街角是， 我看到了熟悉的霓虹燈招牌——路易斯·富爾二手車行。
突然，我意識到自己過去想的太孩子氣了。 如果我自己有車將會怎樣呢？ 那是我就可以想什么時(shí)候開就什么時(shí)候開，不必等爸爸不用車時(shí)再開。我可以在后面的保險(xiǎn)杠上貼上很酷的標(biāo)示物，并在后視鏡上掛上顯示個(gè)性的飾物。我不必在開完后把車弄得干干凈凈。它將是我的避風(fēng)港，我的庇護(hù)所，我的……
“你在想什么呢？”爸爸問，“你已經(jīng)在綠燈前停了好一會兒了?！?/span>
“喔，”我用腳一踩油門，因?yàn)橛昧τ悬c(diǎn)過猛，汽車突然沖向前去。爸爸用手捂住了眼睛，裝出害怕的樣子來。
“爸爸”我開始用最討人喜歡的乞求眼神望著他說。
爸爸哼了一聲。他很熟悉那種神情。
“我只是在想……如果我能自己
lot easier for everyone if I had my owncar.”
“Youjust flew past that yield sign,” Dad said. “Remember? That means you have to wait and look around before you pull into the intersection.”
Islammed on the brakes, just in time to avoid hitting a truck.
“Iknow what yielding is,” I said, irritated. “But like I was saying …”
Dad frowned.“Do you really think you’re ready for a car?” he asked. “You’ve still got a lotto learn about driving.”
“I’ma good driver, Dad！”
“you’rea new driver, Honey,” he said. “Just means you could use some practice.”
“Butdad, think of all the time you could save if you didn’t have to take me places.You’d be free to just relax on the couch after work and watch the game.”
Myspeech wasn’t achieving the desired effect. Instead, Dad was laughing so hard,his eyes watered.
“Comeon, Dad. It would make me so happy!”
Dadrubbed my shoulder.” I know it would,” he said. “Maybe we could look at the used car lots sometime.”
Destination: Nowhere
Forthe next few months, I begged
有部車，生活對每個(gè)人就容易得多了?！?/span>
“你剛疾駛過讓路標(biāo)志，”爸爸說，“記得嗎？那個(gè)標(biāo)志意味著你得等待，先左右看看，再駛進(jìn)交叉路口?！?/span>
我猛踩剎車，才及時(shí)避免了和一輛卡車相撞。
“我知道什么是讓路，”我氣惱地說，“但是正如我剛才所說……”
爸爸皺了皺眉，問道：“你真覺得你已經(jīng)具備條件，可以擁有一部車了嗎？關(guān)于開車，你還有很多要學(xué)的呢?！?/span>
“我已經(jīng)開得很好了，爸爸！”
“你是一個(gè)新司機(jī)，寶貝，”他說，“這僅僅意味著你可以利用一段時(shí)間練習(xí)開車了?！?/span>
“可是，爸爸，想象你不必開車帶我到出去，這可以節(jié)省你多少時(shí)間呀。下班后，你就可以在沙發(fā)上放松一下和看比賽了?！?/span>
我的話并沒有達(dá)到預(yù)期的效果，相反，爸爸笑得很厲害，眼淚流都出來了。
“行了，爸爸，買車會讓我非常高興的！”
爸爸摸摸我的肩膀，說：“我知道會的。或許我們可以找個(gè)時(shí)間去舊車市場看看?！?/span>
目的地：不存在的地方
其后的幾個(gè)月里，我求他在我們
him to stop at every lot we passed. Ialways fixated on one car, realizing it had to be something affordable andpractical for dad to like it. At first, every test drive was hopeful. I startedgetting frustrated. Dad rejected every car we saw. Despite my pleading, theanswer was always “no”.
Monthspassed. My birthday came and went, and so did Christmas. Sooner or later, eachof my friends came driving by with a car to show off. I still had nothing.
Thelast straw was the day we stopped at Louis Fehr’s used car lot. I was getting desperate,and I spotted a silver car with a chipping orange and black stripe on the side.It was probably older than I was, but it was dirt cheap. Maybe Dad wouldfinally go for this one. I was about to call him over when a salesman in aleisure suit sauntered up.
“Lookslike you picked a winner there,” he said, patting me on the back. “My name’s LouisFour. Between you and me, I can’t believe this one hasn’t sold yet. It’s asteal!”
“Yeah,”I said. “But try telling that to my dad!”
Mr. Fuhrwinked. “Stick with me，”
經(jīng)過的每一個(gè)舊車市場停一下。我常常會喜歡上一部車，心里想著這車得是爸爸負(fù)擔(dān)得起的和他確實(shí)喜歡的。起初，每一次試車都很有希望。我常常想象第一次開著車去朋友家時(shí)，會給他們留下什么樣的印象。但是在幾周后的第七八次試車后，我開始變得沮喪了。爸爸拒絕了我們看的每一部車。盡管我不斷乞求，回答總是“不行”。
幾個(gè)月過去了。我的生日到了，又過了；圣誕節(jié)也這樣到了，又過了。我的每一個(gè)朋友或早或晚都開著車來炫耀過。我依然一無所有。
使我再也忍不下去的是我們停在路易斯·富爾二手車行的那天。我有點(diǎn)不顧一切了。我發(fā)現(xiàn)一輛銀灰色的車，車身一側(cè)有一道橙色和褐色的劃痕，車鈴大概比我的年齡都大，但是便宜極了。或許爸爸最終會選這部車的。我正要叫他過來，突然一個(gè)身著休閑服的推銷員踱步而來。
“看來你挑了一部好車，”他說這在我的背上拍了拍，“我是路易斯·富爾。我都不能相信這車還沒賣出去，這話就你知我知。多么便宜阿！”
“沒錯(cuò)，”我說，“不過你得去跟我爸說。”
富爾先生沖我眨眨眼，說“聽我的，
he said. “I live to make young drivers’dreams come true.”
There was something a little creepyabout Louis Fuhr----I couldn’t put my fingers on it. But he managed to talkinto a test drive, so I knew I had to trust him.
Mr. Fuhrcoughed loudly, attempting to cover the grinding noise as I tried to start the ignition.
“Now, this here’s a great little car,”he said, when it finally roared to life.
In the rearview mirror I could see Dad raise his eyebrows. I knew he was examiningthe stuffing that was bursting out of the ripped vinyl upholstery.
“How many miles on it?” he asked.
Mr. Fuhr winked at me again. “This baby’sgot another hundred-thousand miles left on her,” he said.
Meanwhile, I drove as carefully as I could,gently pumping the brakes so Dad wouldn’t notice how touchy they were.
“Well?” Mr. Fuhr asked as we pulled backinto the lot. “What’d you think?
“It’s great!” I said, looking around theinterior once more for emphasis. “I really like it, daddy!”
But Dad didn’t even notice my pleading 我活著就是要幫助年輕司機(jī)實(shí)現(xiàn)夢想的。”
路易斯·富爾有些怪異----究竟是什么，我說不出來。但是，他設(shè)法說服了爸爸試試車，所以我覺得應(yīng)該相信他。
我試著點(diǎn)火時(shí)富爾先生大聲咳嗽，試圖掩蓋汽車發(fā)出的刺耳噪聲。
引擎終于隆隆的發(fā)動了，富爾先生說：“瞧， 一輛棒極了的小轎車歸你了?！?/span>
通過后視鏡，我可以看到爸爸抬了抬眉毛。我知道他正在檢查從裂開的塑料椅套中漏出來的填充物。
“這車行駛了多少英里？”他問道。
富爾先生又朝我眨眨眼?！斑@寶貝還能再走個(gè)10萬英里呢，”他說。
與此同時(shí)，我盡量小心翼翼地開車，輕輕地踩剎車，這樣爸爸就不會發(fā)現(xiàn)剎車多么不好使了。
“行嗎？你們覺得怎么樣？”我們開回到停車場時(shí)，富爾先生問。
“棒極了！”我說，再一次往車?yán)锼闹芸戳丝匆允緩?qiáng)調(diào)。“我真的喜歡它，爸爸！”
可是，爸爸根本不注意我祈求的眼神。
eyes. Instead, he looked right at thesalesman and said, “this car is allwrong for us.”
“Now 'Dad ’,” Mr. Fuhr began, bearing aset of teeth too shiny to be real, “didn’t you see this gal’s eyes light up? Let’sgo in and talk. She could be driving it off the lot today.”
“My daughter won’t be driving this caranywhere,” Dad said. “She deserves something better.”
He turned and walked toward ourmini-van, but I didn’t follow.
“See?” I said. “He gets my hopes up, andthen he crushes them every time!”
Louis Fuhr shook his head. “It’s so sad,”he said. “I’ll bet the two of you had a great relationship once. “
“We did,”I told him, thinking back to mydriving lessons.
“ I’ve seen this happen a million times,”he sighed. “One day, your dad gives you everything and the next, he leaves youto fend for yourself.”
“I don’t think it’s like that …”I began.
“Trust me,” he said, glancing across thelot at Dad. “You’re not his cute little angel any-more. If you want anything outof life, you’ve gotta take matters into your own hands.”
Takingthe Wheel
相反，他直接看著推銷員說：“這車根本不是我們想要的?！?/span>
富爾先生說：“好了'爸爸’， 您沒看見這女孩兒的眼睛發(fā)亮了嗎？我們進(jìn)去談?wù)劙?。她今天就可以把車開走?！?/span> 他說話時(shí)漏出的一副牙齒太亮了，不像是真的。
“我女兒不會開這輛車去任何地方，”爸爸說，“她應(yīng)該得到一輛更好的?！?/span>
他轉(zhuǎn)身走向我們的小貨車，但我沒有跟著。
“看見了嗎？” 我說，“他讓我燃起希望，然后每次都把希望破滅！”
路易斯·富爾搖了搖頭， 說：“真遺憾， 我敢打賭你們倆曾經(jīng)關(guān)系很好的?！?/span>
“沒錯(cuò)，”我告訴他， 回想起我練習(xí)開車的時(shí)光。
他嘆息著說：“我看見過這類情況發(fā)生過無數(shù)次。某一天，你爸爸什么都給你，而第二天， 他又讓你自謀生路?！?/span>
“我覺得事情并不是那樣的……”我說。
他的視線穿過停車場望著爸爸，說：“相信我。你不再是她嬌小可愛的小天使了。如果你生活中需要什么東西，你得自己作主?！?/span>
把好方向
Days later, after my anger at Dad hadfaded, I could still hear Louis Fuhr’s words in the back of my mind. The nextweek, I found myself applying for a job at Pizza de Perez and asking for allthe hours I could get.
“I guess you’re old enough to make some ofyour own decisions,” Dad said. His wrinkled forehead told me that the wholesituation made him sad. Good, I thought. Now you know how I feel!
It wasn’t long, though, before my gradesstarted slipping and I found myself dozing off in class. I never had any timewith my friends anymore either. Yeah, I was making money. But this decision wascosting me.
One night a few months later, I camehome to find Dad waiting up for me.
“Let’s talk,” he said. “You’re killingyourself for a piece of machinery. Is it really worth it?”
I collapsed on the couch.
“I don’t know,” I said, rubbing my eyes.“I just want a car so much!”
“What makes you think I won’t get you one?”he asked.
“Dad! It’s been months since I got mylicense!” I was so tired and frustrated, I thought I might cry. “I’ve given uphope. It’s like Louis Fuhr said:
幾天以后，我對爸爸的怒氣消退了，但是我仍能聽到路易斯·富爾的話在我腦中回響。下一周，我到佩雷斯皮薩餅店求職，要求得到盡可能多的打工小時(shí)。
爸爸說：“我覺得你已經(jīng)長大到足能自己作些決定了?！彼菨M布皺紋的額頭使我明白了整個(gè)情況讓他很傷心。很好，我心里想，現(xiàn)在你知道我的感受了吧！
不過沒多久我的成績開始下滑，有時(shí)上課還打瞌睡。我再也沒有時(shí)間和朋友們在一起了。是的， 我是在賺錢，但是這個(gè)決定讓我付出了代價(jià)。
幾個(gè)月后的一天晚上， 我回家時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn)爸爸在等我。
他說：“我們談?wù)劙?。你是為了一輛汽車在拼命，真的值得嗎？”
我一下子倒在沙發(fā)上。
“我不知道?！蔽疫呎f邊揉眼睛，“我就是很想要一部車！”
“什么使你認(rèn)為我不會給你買呢？”他問道。
“爸爸！我拿到駕照已經(jīng)好幾個(gè)月了!”我又累又失望， 覺得自己要哭了。 路易斯·富爾說得對：有時(shí)，人得自立?！?/span>
sometimes, you’ve gotta fend foryourself.”
“The car salesman?” Dad asked, frowning.“Is that why you got this job? Because he told you I wouldn’t take care ofyou?”
“Well…yeah.” I immediately wished Icould swallow the words. Tears were dangling precariously in the corners of Dad’seyes. “I was just so tired of waiting!”
Dad sighed. “Come with me ,” he said. “Iwant to show you something.”
I followed him to the garage, and heflipped on the light. There, parked in the spot usually occupied by the van,was a funky silver-blue car topped with a big, red bow.
“I’ve been looking at cars almost everyday since you got your license,” he told me. “I’ve gone to car lots, checkedthe classifieds. I even went to a few auctions.”
Too stunned to speak, I ran my fingersacross the shiny hood. I could smell the cream-colored leather interior andimagined that this car, probably German, had once been driven by someone wealthy.Now, though it was older, it was still in perfect condition. It was big enoughto hold my friends but
“那個(gè)汽車推銷員？”爸爸皺著眉頭
問道，“你就是因?yàn)槟莻€(gè)找了份工作？因?yàn)樗嬖V你說我不會管你了？”
“嗯……是的。”我立刻恨不得收回說的話。眼淚在爸爸的眼角里打轉(zhuǎn)，快
要掉下來了?！拔揖褪堑葏捔?！”
爸爸嘆了口氣?！案襾恚彼f，“我要給你看樣?xùn)|西?！?/span>
我跟著他來到車庫， 他猛然打開燈。那兒，在通常停那輛貨車的地方，是一輛時(shí)髦的銀藍(lán)色汽車，車頭上系著一個(gè)大大的紅色蝴蝶結(jié)。
“你拿到駕照以來我?guī)缀趺刻於荚诳窜??！彼嬖V我，“我去了許多車市，查了分類廣告。我甚至還去過幾家拍賣行?！?/span>
我急切地用手指撫摸著閃亮的發(fā)動機(jī)蓋，驚奇地說不出話來。我能聞到奶白色的車內(nèi)皮飾散發(fā)的氣味，想象著這部車，大概是德國造，曾經(jīng)被一個(gè)有錢人開過。現(xiàn)在， 它雖然已經(jīng)舊了，但車況仍然完好。它很大，足夠裝下我的朋友，又有小到可當(dāng)跑車用
。從各方面來說，它都好極了。
small enough to be sporty. In every way,it was a classic.
“Why do you have so little faith in me?”Dad asked, shaking his head. “Why do you doubt that I want what’s best for you?Look at this car. Doesn’t it fit your needs and personality perfectly?”
Dad opened the driver’s door andmotioned for me to sit. I sunk into the soft leather and ran my hands acrossthe shiny chrome knobs on the dashboard. No one I knew had a car this cool.
“It wasn’t the right time before,” Dad wenton. “I mean, look at your friends. They got cars fast, right? But Allisontotaled hers, and Lance smashed his front end by running into a tree. Why?”
'Because they didn’t really know how todrive yet,” I said.
“Right. And look at Scott, Deb and Leslie.They’re pouring all the money from their after-school jobs into repairs.”
“Because they got junky cars,” I said, finishinghis thought.
“Exactly,” Dad said, grinning. “I loveto see your face when I give you an unexpected gift.”
The look in Dad’s eyes at that momentmade me realize how wrong I’d been
“為什么你對我這么沒信心呢？”爸爸一邊問， 一邊搖著頭，“我要給你最好的，對此你為什么要懷疑呢？看看這輛車，它不是很合適你的需要和個(gè)性嗎？”
爸爸打開駕駛室的門，示意我坐進(jìn)去。我陷進(jìn)柔軟的皮椅中，用手撫摸著儀表板上閃亮的鉻制皮鈕。我認(rèn)識的人中誰也沒有這么酷的車。
“以前只是時(shí)機(jī)未到，”爸爸接著說， “我是說，看看你的朋友么們。他們很快就有了車，對吧？但是阿利森把他的車徹底毀壞了，蘭斯撞到樹上，車頭都撞壞了。為什么？”
“因?yàn)樗麄冞€不真正知道怎么開，”我說。
“對了。再看看斯科特、德布和萊斯莉。他們放學(xué)后打工掙來的錢都扔進(jìn)修車中了?！?/span>
“因?yàn)樗麄冑I的車太破了，”我替他說出了他想說的話。
“完全正確，”他咧著嘴笑著說，“我很喜歡看你收到我送給你的意外禮物時(shí)的表情?！?/span>
那一刻爸爸的眼神讓我意識到我誤解他有多深。即使在我表現(xiàn)得自私和不
about him. I still meant the world tohim, even after I’d been selfish and immature.
“I know it’s kind of late, Dad,” I said,“but we really haven’t talked in a while. There are some things I need to say.”
“Why don’t we go for a quick drive then?”he said.
“You read my mind,” I told him, startingthe engine.
I began my apology as we pulled out ofthe driveway, but he never let me finish. By the end of the block, we were bothlaughing, just like old times.
成熟之后，我仍是他的一切。
“我知道現(xiàn)在有點(diǎn)晚了，爸，”我說，“但是， 我們真的有段時(shí)間沒有好好談?wù)劻恕Ｓ行┦挛蚁牒湍阏f說。”
他說：“那我們干嘛不趕緊開車出去轉(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn)呢？”
“我正是這么想的，”說著我就發(fā)動了汽車。
當(dāng)我們開車上路后， 我開始向爸爸道歉，但他從不讓我把話談完?？祚偝鼋謪^(qū)時(shí)，我們倆都大笑起來，就像從前一樣。
2014.9.7 12：44
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