After you put years into a relationship, it’s hard to simply walk away. Get to the bottom of your disagreements and rescue your relationship with the following tips.
在你們的婚姻維持了那么多年之后，要想簡單的走開是很難的。弄清楚你們的不合到底在哪，然后按照下面的提示來挽救你們的婚姻吧。
You Will Need 你將需要：
* Honesty *真誠
* Listening skills *傾聽的技巧
* Emotional availability *充滿愛意
* Activities and outings *活動和郊游
* Counseling *建議
* New patterns *新形象
* Forgiveness *原諒
* "I" language (optional) *“我“的說話方式（可選）
* Flirtatiousness (optional) *調(diào)情（可選）
Step 1: Lay your problems on the table
步驟1：把你們的問題擺到桌面上來
Don’t expect your relationship to improve if you aren’t telling your partner what bothers you. Honestly express your needs and insecurities in a non-threatening, non-accusatory way so your partner doesn’t get defensive.
如果你不告訴你的另一半到底是什么問題煩擾著你，那就別指望能改善你們之間的關(guān)系。真誠的表達你的需求和不安，不要用威脅或者指責(zé)的語氣，這樣你的另一半就不會閉鎖心扉。
Use “I” language instead of “you” language. Say “I feel upset” instead of “you make me feel upset.”
使用”我“的說話方式而不是”你“的說話方式?？梢哉f”我很煩“，而不要說”你讓我很煩“。
Step 2: Listen to your spouse
步驟2：傾聽你的配偶
Tune in to your partner when they talk instead of thinking about your next retort. If you can understand what motivates their behavior, you may be able to see them in a new, empathetic light.
當你的另一半講話的時候，要聽進去，不要去想著你下一輪的反駁。如果你能夠明白是什么促使他（她）這么做，你或許能夠帶著新的、情感的眼光去看待他（她）。
Step 3: Be emotionally available
步驟3：要充滿愛意
Be emotionally available to your partner, even when you don’t have a specific problem to work out. Give physical affection freely and empathize when they talk about problems in other areas of their life.
要對你的另一半充滿愛意，即使你沒有什么特別的問題要解決。多一些親昵的行為，當他（她）談到生活中其它方面的問題時，要表示出同情理解。
Step 4: Bond over fun time
步驟4：玩樂增加感情
Plan activities and outings to have “fun time” with your significant other, which can help rekindle the romance and remind you why you fell in love. If your relationship is in serious trouble, think about taking a second honeymoon.
計劃一些活動和郊游，與你的至尊重要的那位共度“歡樂時光”，這能重新燃起浪漫，讓你回想起當初為何陷入愛河。假如你們的婚姻遇到了大麻煩，考慮一下度第二次蜜月吧。
Flirt with your partner when they don’t expect it to reinforce their self-esteem and stoke the flame of your romance.
在你的另一半沒預(yù)料到的時刻與他（她）調(diào)調(diào)情，這會增強他（她）的自尊，增添你們的浪漫火焰。
Step 5: Seek out counseling
步驟5：尋求建議
Seek advice from professionals if your relationship suffers a major blow, such as from cheating.
如果你們的婚姻遭受重創(chuàng)，比如出軌，那就向?qū)I(yè)人士尋求建議吧。
Step 6: Create new patterns
步驟6：樹立新形象
Commit to new ways of relating to your partner to put an end to bad patterns. If you agreed to spend less time golfing or to cut back on nagging, stick to it.
向你的另一半保證痛改前非。假如你承諾少花點時間打高爾夫或者少點嘮嘮叨叨，那就堅持做下去。
Step 7: Forgive
步驟7：原諒
Forgive your partner for their mistakes. Forgiveness is the best possible way to get over an affair and to preserve lasting bliss.
原諒你的另一半所犯的錯誤。原諒是從問題中解脫出來、保證長久幸福的最好方法。
A 2007 survey found that men are twice as likely as women to cheat more than once.
PS：2007年的一個調(diào)查發(fā)現(xiàn)，男人出軌一次以上的可能性是女人的兩倍。
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