俗話說(shuō)得好，每個(gè)女孩兒一生中總會(huì)遇到幾個(gè)渣男才會(huì)成長(zhǎng)，不過(guò)貌似，不僅女生們有這種感慨，男生們的內(nèi)心OS也同樣強(qiáng)烈……
前段時(shí)間， 渣男最愛(ài)干的那些事還上了熱搜：
不過(guò)貌似歪果仁們也有同感呢~最近BUZZFEED上的一篇帖子就火了：
Buzzfeed：糟糕的戀情都有哪些危險(xiǎn)信號(hào)？來(lái)看看網(wǎng)友們咋說(shuō)的
馬上學(xué)：red flag 即我們常說(shuō)的“危險(xiǎn)信號(hào)”，例如：The fallen trees along the road raised a red flag for the safety inspectors. （對(duì)于安全巡查員而言，沿路倒下的樹(shù)木是一個(gè)危險(xiǎn)信號(hào)。）大家都知道toxic 是有毒的，而如果說(shuō)a toxic relationship則表示這段感情 “令人不愉快”。
問(wèn)題PO出不到倆小時(shí)，就收到了150多條回復(fù)，網(wǎng)友們用自己慘痛的親身經(jīng)歷告訴大家：戀愛(ài)中遇到哪些人要揮刀斬情絲——因?yàn)門A是真的渣?。?/p>
到底歪果仁網(wǎng)友們說(shuō)了啥？什么才是歪果仁眼中的“渣”行為？一起來(lái)看看Buzzfeed小編的部分篩選吧～
如果一個(gè)男人跟你說(shuō)，他的前任都是極品，趕緊撤… 因?yàn)樗悄莻€(gè)公分母。
'When a guy says that all his exes are crazy, run... because he is the common denominator.' —Ley.
你做了自己的計(jì)劃安排沒(méi)事先問(wèn)他，他會(huì)讓你覺(jué)得這是你的錯(cuò)。
'When he makes you feel guilty about making your own plans without asking him first.' — Andre.
他總是不停的說(shuō)你喜歡的人的壞話——尤其是你好朋友的。
'When he never stops pointing out the mistakes of people you like, especially your friends.' —C.
情感勒索：他會(huì)嫉妒你對(duì)朋友和家人的愛(ài)，并指責(zé)你不夠愛(ài)他。
'Emotional blackmail: when he is jealous of your friends or family and accuses you for not loving him.' —Lyna.
注意他談?wù)撉芭褌兊姆绞?，如果缺乏?duì)她們的尊重或者嘲笑她們的外表，那很明顯他是個(gè)渣男無(wú)疑了。
'I always pay attention to the way he talks about his ex-partners. If he is disrespectful, or if he trashes their appearance, it is a clear sign that I am dealing with a jerk.' —Jen.
任何有你家人或朋友在的活動(dòng)，他都不想?yún)⒓印Ｈ绻阋粋€(gè)人去參加了，他還會(huì)莫名發(fā)脾氣：他不想你留他一個(gè)人，還阻止你和那些你珍惜的人在一起。
'If he does not want to participate in anything that involves your family or friends ... or when you go on your own because he does not want to come along, he throws a tantrum for some absurd reason: all he wants is to prevent you from leaving him alone and to keep you away from people that you value.' —larubiadelquinto.
當(dāng)對(duì)方和你說(shuō)沒(méi)有他你什么都不是的時(shí)候……
'The moment your partner tells you that you would be nothing without him.' — Abril.
不懂得換位思考，不替他人考慮：自己不付出卻讓人為他做這做那。
'Lack of reciprocity: when he demands things from you that he does not do himself.' — Olalla.
總是想控制你，對(duì)你惡語(yǔ)相向，還美其名曰這樣都是因?yàn)閻?ài)你……
'When he controls or viciously criticizes you, but excuses his behavior by saying 'I am only telling you this because I love you.'' —Casiopea.
跟你要密碼的時(shí)候……
'When he asks for your passwords.' —Paula.
花時(shí)間證明我的恐懼和缺乏安全感，并讓我為自己的這些感到難過(guò)。然后還不能和他傾訴這些事情，因?yàn)樗麜?huì)生氣。
'The moment he takes the time to demonstrate that I have fears and insecurities and starts to make me feel bad about them. And when I begin to feel that I can't talk to him about those things because he will get pissed.' —Aren.
對(duì)方第一次告訴你應(yīng)該做什么不應(yīng)該做什么的時(shí)候……
'The first time your partner tells you what you should or shouldn't do.' —Laura.
當(dāng)一個(gè)女人因?yàn)橄旅孢@些理由不再做以前喜歡做的事情時(shí)（如跟朋友聚會(huì)等）：他想讓我陪他，他朋友來(lái)不了了，他一個(gè)人孤零零的，我不忍心，他為了我都不出去了，所以我也不出去了，不，不是因?yàn)樗?，是我自己不想去的……在我看?lái)，這種關(guān)系是不會(huì)幸福的。如果他不讓你去做你喜歡做的事，而讓你做他喜歡做的事，那我只能說(shuō)，他可能并沒(méi)有那么愛(ài)你。
'When the woman stops doing what she used to do (like spending time with her friends) because he 'wants me to stay with him', 'his friends can't come today, he is all alone, and I am sorry for him', 'he stopped partying to be with me, so I'm not going out...', and also, 'no, it is not because of him; I just don't want to do it'. YEAH, SURE. In my opinion, this is toxic. If he is asking you to stop doing what you like to do and to do what he likes to do, he is the one who does not love you that much.' —18amigapreocupada.
說(shuō)什么愛(ài)就是要犧牲，強(qiáng)迫你改變自己的性格，行為，穿著，社交……與此同時(shí)，他卻絲毫不care你的感受。
'When he forces you to change yourself (having to change your personality, behavior, clothes, social relationships...) by guilting you about how love is about making sacrifices, while he doesn't worry one bit about how that makes you feel.' —Claudia.
因?yàn)槟銢](méi)火速回復(fù)他的消息而變得不耐煩的時(shí)候……
'Being impatient when you don't respond to his messages quickly enough.' —GabyC.
吵架的時(shí)候，貶低你為這段感情的付出，說(shuō)什么“我比你付出的多，我為這段感情傾盡所有而你啥也沒(méi)做”之類的。
'One red flag can be when, during an argument, you partner downplays your commitment to the relationship by dropping phrases like 'I have worked much harder than you on this' or 'I have done everything to make it work, and you have done virtually nothing.'' —Karina.
吵架的時(shí)候摔東西……
'If he breaks things when we argue.' —Azul.
那些說(shuō)“不相信男女間有純粹友誼”的人。
'People who say, 'I don't believe that a woman and a man can just be friends'.' — Berta.
無(wú)論發(fā)生什么事兒，他永遠(yuǎn)都是那個(gè)受害者。
'When, no matter what happens, he has to be the victim.' —Moon.
因?yàn)樗幌矚g，就要離間你和你喜歡的人的感情……
'When he tries to drive a wedge between you and your loved ones because 'he is not very fond of them.'' —Arim.
總是輕視你，不把你的生活方式當(dāng)一回事，貶低你的學(xué)習(xí)，工作，興趣愛(ài)好的時(shí)候……
'When he does not take you seriously, and he does not take your lifestyle seriously, and when he belittles your studies, your work, your hobbies...' —Carmen.
總結(jié)一下：當(dāng)你在感情中迷失自我，開(kāi)始為他改變自己的習(xí)慣、朋友、品味等等的時(shí)候。小心了，事情開(kāi)始不太對(duì)勁了！
'To summarize: when you stop being yourself in a relationship, and you start to change your habits, friends, tastes, etc. for him... BE CAREFUL! Something is not right.' —A. Maria.
他總是不停傾訴自己的感覺(jué)，卻對(duì)你說(shuō)的完全沒(méi)興趣。
'When he keeps talking about himself but is never interested in anything I tell him.' —Aria.
如果他說(shuō)他生命中的所有女人都很壞，她們都傷害他，拋棄他，讓他痛苦，唯獨(dú)你與眾不同的時(shí)候，當(dāng)心了！如果別人都離開(kāi)他，難道不應(yīng)該是他的問(wèn)題么？
'When he makes every woman in his life play the villain — every one of them hurt him, abandoned him, or made him miserable... but he tells you that you are different, and you make him feel special. If they all dumped him, wouldn't it mean that he was the problem?' —Paula.
控制欲太強(qiáng)的時(shí)候，甚至管你在社交媒體上關(guān)注誰(shuí)、贊了什么……
'When they control everything, including who you friend on social media and even what you like.' —Paula.
如果他對(duì)你感興趣不是因?yàn)槟愕膫€(gè)性、品味或者愛(ài)好，而是因?yàn)槟銓?duì)他的付出或你對(duì)他的取悅。
'When his interest in you is really about him. He is more interested in what you do for him and the pleasure that you give him than in your personality, your tastes, or your interests.' —Raquel.
如果他說(shuō)“你和其他女孩兒不同”，然后開(kāi)始貶損其他女性的時(shí)候。
'When he says, 'You are not like other girls,' and follows it up with a derogatory comment about other women.' —Angie.
缺少尊重，比如當(dāng)著你的面看別的女人，就好像在市場(chǎng)選菜一樣（不尊重女性）。對(duì)你指手畫腳，比如說(shuō)“你金發(fā)比較好看”，“你這么胖穿短裙合適嗎”。就好像你的個(gè)人意見(jiàn)根本不重要一樣。
'Lack of respect, like checking out other women in front of you... as if it were some cattle market. Or making comments about things that become you and those that don't, for example, 'You would look better as a blonde,' or 'You are not skinny enough to wear such a short skirt'. As if your own opinion were not enough.' — Bb.
在你的朋友面前羞辱你，哪怕只是開(kāi)玩笑。
'When your partner starts to humiliate you in front of your friends, even if they do it 'as a joke.'' —I.
注意他對(duì)身邊女性的態(tài)度。比如，他說(shuō)他媽很煩，因?yàn)榭偸亲屗驋?；說(shuō)某個(gè)女生很酷，因?yàn)樗┲托厝?；或者說(shuō)他的前任是極品等等。這樣的渣男還是趕快遠(yuǎn)離吧！
'Pay attention to his opinions of the women closest to him. For example, if he thinks that his mother is annoying because she makes him clean, that a female friend is cool because she wears a low-cut dress, or that his ex is crazy, RUN!' —Cris.
自己啥啥都不會(huì)，包括用洗衣機(jī)，從網(wǎng)上下載音樂(lè)等等。最后，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己仿佛多了個(gè)兒子，承擔(dān)著所有的壓力和責(zé)任。
'Inability to do anything by himself. From running the washer to downloading a song from the internet. Finally, you end up in a mother-child relationship, in which you carry all the weight and take all responsibility.' —Cristina.
如果他讓你為自己的過(guò)去感到羞愧（比如他會(huì)說(shuō)，你過(guò)去怎么交了那么多男朋友）?；蛘吣阏宜塘吭趺唇鉀Q問(wèn)題，但他懶得溝通，還覺(jué)得這個(gè)問(wèn)題都是你的錯(cuò)。當(dāng)你把自己的生活和工作放在他之前，他會(huì)說(shuō)：“你不愛(ài)我”。
'When he makes you feel bad about things from your past (like, for example, having dated what he believes to be TOO MANY guys). Or when you try to talk to him about solving a problem, and he avoids communicating but then proceeds to make you feel like the problem is your fault. Or when he engages in emotional blackmail with 'you don't love me' when you put your life and your projects before him.' —UnaHermanaMas.
當(dāng)他們拿你的出身、膚色、出生地、口音等開(kāi)玩笑的時(shí)候。
'When they make 'jokes' about your origin, skin color, the place you were born, or your accent.' —V.
太自我。這樣的人通常很自私，結(jié)果就是你需要付出很多，但收獲很少。
'Being egotistical. This makes them behave selfishly with you, so you are going to end up giving a lot and receiving very little.' —Alba.
當(dāng)我跟他說(shuō)自己真的很忙，要做很多事，他不僅不體諒，還要增加我的負(fù)擔(dān)的時(shí)候。
'When I tell him how busy I am or how little time I have to do things and, instead of giving me space, he demands more of it.' —Paola.
當(dāng)你因?yàn)橐恍┖苷５氖虑槎X(jué)得自責(zé)的時(shí)候。
'When you start feeling guilty about something totally normal.' —Gor.
上一段有毒的戀情讓我印象頗深的一點(diǎn)：如果我不贊同他，或者我做了他不認(rèn)同的事（比如跟朋友出去，看個(gè)戲劇之類的），或者夸贊了某個(gè)男性友人，他會(huì)連續(xù)好幾個(gè)小時(shí)不跟我講話，生好幾天悶氣，也不說(shuō)到底為了什么。
'In my case, having come out of a very toxic relationship, this is what I remember quite clearly: he would not talk to me for hours when I disagreed with him about something or when I did something he did not want me to do (like going out with my friends, participate in a theater play...), or when I praised a male friend or acquaintance. He would sulk for days, only to remind me of that at the slightest opportunity.' —Falcon.
公共場(chǎng)合沖你大呼小叫甚至謾罵的時(shí)候……
'When he yells or curses at you in public.' —Bianca.
如果一個(gè)男人還不清楚自己究竟想要什么，想找怎么樣的女生，卻把你當(dāng)女朋友來(lái)對(duì)待，而當(dāng)你想去問(wèn)清楚時(shí)，他又言語(yǔ)模糊。與此同時(shí)，他又對(duì)你說(shuō)：你很特別……
'When the man is not clear about what he wants or what he looks for but at the same time he treats you like a girlfriend. Then he is vague when you try to get to know him but at the same time he tells you that you are special.' —Carli.
當(dāng)他啥啥都依賴你的時(shí)候……
'When he depends on you for everything.' —C
他不想花時(shí)間和你的朋友相處，你卻總要花時(shí)間和他的朋友們相處的時(shí)候。
'When he does not want to spend time with your friends, but you always spend time with his friends.' —Reix.
對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)有兩個(gè)明顯的信號(hào)：第一個(gè)較難識(shí)別，就是會(huì)偽裝成玩笑的形式羞辱你。第二，情感綁架。這是感情走向終結(jié)的開(kāi)始。
'For me, there are two very clear signs. First, and, in my opinion, more difficult to notice, is attempts to humiliate you that masquerade as innocent jokes. And second, emotional blackmail. This is the beginning of the end.' —Isa.
我覺(jué)得有很多明顯的危險(xiǎn)信號(hào)，其中最危險(xiǎn)的是那些不經(jīng)意的。例如：他不認(rèn)為你的工作、職業(yè)或興趣愛(ài)好很重要，不支持你的職業(yè)抉擇，以愛(ài)的名義控制你等等。
I think there are very obvious red flags, but the most dangerous ones are those that pass unnoticed. For example, when he does not think that your work, your career, or your interests are important; when he does not support you in decisions about career opportunities, and when he anchors you to a circle of control, which is supposed to be his 'love', but in which he is always the protagonist.' —Belén.
英文來(lái)源：Buzzfeed
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