How many ways are there to say “No” without offending anyone’s feeling? Well, there is “No, I can’t”， “No, I don’t have time” and “No, I don’t want to”. But the problem is that many of us try to avoid situations that require us to say “No” to people. In almost every culture this little word is associated with rejection, failure, egoism and a lack of tact and empathy towards others。
I can not recall how many times I have eaten burnt, undercooked, bland and poorly tasting dishes simply because I did not want to hurt the feelings of the person who had cooked them. Or the times when I bought something, I did not need, because I felt guilty leaving a shop empty-handed after spending 20 minutes of the shop assistant’s time。
If just like me, you sometimes find it difficult to be direct about saying “No”， you can still be assertive and express you disagreement in a more subtle, yet equally powerful way. The great thing about this method is that it gets your point across without making you look bad, unprofessional, insensitive or uncaring。
Here are 7 Sneaky Ways to Say “No” without Offending Anyone
下面是7種拒絕而不傷害他人的委婉方法：
1. “This sounds interesting, but I have too much on my plate at the moment?！?/div>
“聽(tīng)起來(lái)很有趣，但是我現(xiàn)在有太多的事情要做。”
When you start your disagreement with a compliment: “this sounds interesting”， it makes the person less defensive and gives you a valid reason to decline “I have too much on my plate at the moment”。
2. “I’m sorry but last time I did ___, I had a negative experience?！?/div>
“不好意思，上次我這樣做時(shí)，我很難受 ?！?/div>
This is a life-saver for me every time I have to explain to people that I do not eat meat. Before I would say that I was a vegetarian, but for some reason this explanation has never worked on hospitable Italian grandmothers. They would try to feed me bacon, sausage and octopuses (yuck!) explaining it with “this is not meat” or “I just put a little in this dish”。
Now I simply say, “I’m sorry, but I can not eat meat. Last time I did, I had a terrible headache?！?And it works like a charm, because no one wants to hurt you on purpose。
Note: Just do not go into a lengthy justification of why you can not do it。
注意：不要進(jìn)一步說(shuō)明你為什么不能做。
First, it is not necessary. Time is a limited resource and when you say “yes” to one task, you have to say “no” to other opportunities that might be more important, urgent and beneficial to you at the moment. Second, offering a lengthy explanation makes you sound guilty and unsure, so people might push further to see if you will agree。
4. “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?”
“我不是這項(xiàng)任務(wù)的最佳人選。要不你們看看X行不行？”
If you feel that you can not contribute much to the task, have no time or lack the resources, do not beat around the bush! Let the person know it up front. This, however, does not mean that you can not be helpful. You can still refer the person to a lead they can follow up on。
5. “I can’t do this, but I can do ____ (less commitment)?！?/div>
“我不能這樣做，但是我可以 ___(做出較少的承諾)?！?/div>
This is another variation of the previous method. You are saying “No” to a request, but you are still offering your help on your own terms, choosing the easier, less time-consuming commitment。
6. “You look great, but ___ does not do you justice”
“你看上去很棒，但是___不是很適合你?！?/div>
This is a great way to diplomatically express your opinion when someone asks you a question about their appearance, without hurting the other person’s feelings (especially if the person asking you is your friend, your superior or your spouse)。
Sometimes you might get a proposal, an idea or a request that sounds interesting. But considering the amount of tasks on your to-do list, you do not feel like taking another commitment just yet。
In this case, instead of saying a straight out “No”， you are giving yourself time to reflect before making a final decision: “Let me call you ___ (specific time range)?！?/div>
However, if you are not interested, do not leave the person hanging on. Use other ways to say “No” that are more definitive (e.g. methods #1,#2 or #3). It is more disappointing when the person is counting on you and you let them down。
