經(jīng)久不衰的愛情關(guān)鍵特點
First comes that split second of physical attraction. Next, that thrilling feeling of chemistry. But when the veil of romance starts to lift, what’s life really like off the dance floor?
首先是身體吸引的瞬間，接著，是令人心顫的來電的感覺。但是，當慢慢揭掉浪漫的面紗時，回歸平淡的生活真正是什么樣的呢？
Too often, love is blind
經(jīng)常，愛情是盲目的
When Jenny and Michael met, they were instantly attracted to each other. Those electrifying sparks started flying. In an exciting whirlwind of parties and romantic dates, they swept each other off their feet. They decided to get married and live happily ever after. Years later the hormones had calmed down (and so had the fireworks). When the smoke cleared, the mismatches started to emerge. Her passion to shop and his questionable money decisions created constant financial stress. He liked to hang with the guys and play sports. She loved to go to the theater with friends. They disagreed on children and family values, especially religion. Communication broke down. Eventually, they grew apart.
當珍尼和邁克爾相遇時，他們立即相互吸引了，電光開始飛濺四射。在一些激動人心的閃電式派對和戀愛約會后，他們相互為對方所傾倒。他們決定結(jié)婚，從此永遠幸福地生活在一起。幾年后，荷爾蒙（還有激情）都平靜下來。當煙幕散盡后，開始出現(xiàn)失諧。她對購物的熱情以及他不太對勁的消費決策，導(dǎo)致了持續(xù)的經(jīng)濟壓力。他喜歡和男友一起打發(fā)時間或者做些運動。她愛和朋友一起去電影院。他們對待孩子和家庭的觀念，尤其是宗教方面都有分歧。雙方?jīng)]有了交流。最后，分手了。
Sound familiar? A physical match is essential at the start, but the excitement of a budding new romance eventually wears off. Making thoughtful dating decisions can mean the difference between revolving relationships and finding lasting love.
聽起來很熟悉？在最開始，外表匹配很關(guān)鍵，但是正萌芽的新戀愛史的激情最終會消退。是否作出深思熟慮的相親決策，可以決定（你將收獲）走馬燈式情感關(guān)系，還是經(jīng)久不衰之愛。
1. Physical appearance
1 外表
While physical appearance and attraction draw two people together at first, these aspects will affect the rest of their lives. If working out and staying fit is important to you, will it bum you out if your mate doesn’t share your quest for rock-hard abs?
雖然一開始是外表和吸引力把兩個人吸引到一起，但是這些方面會影響他們的余生。假定運動和健身對你非常重要，而你的伴侶不象你一樣追求硬硬的腹肌，這會驅(qū)散你的熱情嗎？
2. Emotional maturity
2 情緒成熟性
Is this person emotionally mature and centered or still lugging around some trunk-sized baggage? How does your sweetheart relate to family and friends? Is he or she emotionally supportive or have control issues? Is your mate aware of his or her own issues and interested in addressing them?
這個人情緒成熟、以情緒為中心的，還是仍然背著一些重重的（情感）包袱呢？你的愛人與家人和朋友的關(guān)系怎么樣？她或他是善解人意體貼人還是有控制欲問題？你愛人意識到他或她自己的問題并樂于交流嗎？
3. Lifestyle choices
3 生活方式的選擇
This includes career and social lives, common interests, leisure time activities and energy levels. Would she rather join the bowling league or the metropolitan symphony? Does he have lots of energy for activities with friends while she’d rather rest and chill out at home?
這包括職業(yè)和社會生活、共同興趣、閑暇活動和體能水平。她寧愿加入保齡球隊或都市交響樂隊嗎？是不是他對于朋友之間的活動精力充沛而她寧愿呆在家里休息放松？
4. Financial compatibility
4 經(jīng)濟上諧調(diào)性
This is a hot bed for most couples. It includes income levels, savings goals and views on handling money. How do you each want to spend, save and invest? Is one person a spender while the other saves? Is one person financially responsible while the other plays catch-up with child support and bills?
對大多數(shù)配偶來說，這是（滋生事端的）溫床。它包括收入水平、儲蓄目標以及消費觀。你們各自想要怎么去消費、儲蓄和投資呢？一個人是花錢狂而另一個人存錢嗎？一個人經(jīng)濟上有責任心而另一個人則撫養(yǎng)孩子和負擔各種帳單（以努力達到一致）嗎？
5. Value structure
5 價值觀體系
This area is often overlooked but has a tremendous impact on your life. It includes the big values: honesty, integrity, loyalty, views on family and children, religion and spirituality, life goals and the treatment and care for others. Does your mate follow through on promises made? Would you say this person is trustworthy? Will you always be there for each other in a pinch?
這方面通常被忽視了，但是它對生活有巨大影響。它包括重大價值觀：誠實、正直、忠誠，對待家庭和孩子的觀念、宗教和屬靈、生活目標以及待人接物。你的伴侶會一直遵守自己的承諾嗎？你會說這個人是可信賴的嗎？在重要關(guān)頭，你們會一直守在彼此身邊嗎？
6. Marriage and intimacy
6 婚姻和親密無間
Everyone does not share the same idea of marriage. The big questions to address are: What do you and your mate expect from marriage? Is he or she looking for a soul mate? Do you both want close intimacy beyond the physical aspect, including with your friendships and in private communications with each other?
不是每個人對婚姻的看法都是一樣的。要提出的重大問題是：你和愛人期待從婚姻中得到什么？她或他在尋找靈魂伴侶（心心相印的人）嗎？你們倆都想要一種除了肉體之外的親密無間的關(guān)系嗎（包括你們之間的友誼和私下的相互交流）嗎？
7. Intelligence
7 才智
Having similar education levels increases your chances of sharing matching school and social experiences, intellectual interests and career goals. What topics do you and your honey like to talk about? Conversation limited to sports or shopping may get boring to someone who likes to ponder philosophy and bluster about business.
具有差不多的教育水平能增加共同享有差不多的畢業(yè)學(xué)校和社會經(jīng)歷、知識興趣和職業(yè)目標的可能性。你和愛人喜歡談?wù)撌裁礃拥脑掝}？對于一個喜歡思考經(jīng)營哲學(xué)和大話生意的人來說，局限于運動和購物的話題會令他厭煩。
While you don’t have to match exactly in each area, look at the big picture and make sure you match closely enough in the important areas of your life to up your chances of finding a love that will go the distance.
然而，不必在各個方面都完全匹配，著眼大局，確保戀人在生活中重大方面與你夠匹配，以增加你找到一份持久不衰之愛的可能性。
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